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  #1  
Old 09-12-2005, 08:48 PM
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And so, is that all there is?

So what have we here? Days go by and then weeks and then years and still the pain is ever present ? Just below the surface? What does it all mean? Gov't lied? Men died? Or is there a more glorious and profound meaning? What do you tell Mom who will never see her son again? Your boy is a hero? he died saving his friends? He was killed by accident? He is still dead.....and every little thing reminds us of him? And when does that peace come? Mom I feel bad for you but how can I know how you feel? Your boy came out of you not me....you gave him life not me and someone else took it all away.....and now your friends want you to put it behind you and get on with your life? To what end?

I have come to give you life, and life more abundantly....not take it away.

I need some help here folks......
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Old 09-15-2005, 10:39 AM
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Re: And so, is that all there is?

I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a son or daughter in this or any war. All I can do is offer my sympathy and express my servitude to their needs if possible. "I know your son cant be here for this, but how can I help?"
And the same goes to the widows of the war who have to go on living and raising their kids without their spouse... because there is not another option.
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Old 09-15-2005, 01:05 PM
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Bounce Re: And so, is that all there is?

I can't imagine having to answer your questions to a parent, spouse, or child. Unfortuanately I was on a "FUNERAL DETAIL" assignment for approximately one year upon my return to home from RVN. Some moron in Personnel decided with my recent past experience in combat I would be great performing funeral details, so I was assigned/attached to the HQ Co at Ft. Stewart, GA and made several funerals every month for RVN KIA'S and had the questions thrown at me by the families all over Georgia and Florida. I didn't have any answers then that didn't come out of the bottom of a bottle or from the ARMY's view point. After all these years, I still don't.

I wish I had an answer to these questions. However, I have questions of my own:

How do I answer my Dad, Mother, Brother, Spouse, Children when they ask: Why do you get angry with us for no apparant reason? Why do you always carry a weapon (your choice) when leaving the house, even to just go outside with us to play, cook out, change the water sprinkler, etc? Why do you freak out when one of us leaves the door unlocked at night? Why do you go out at night and walk around the house several times before you go to bed? Why can't we just come up and hug you without announcing ourselves? Why is it that when a child runs up to you when out in public that you get very upset/angry? Why is it when you hear a gunshot or planes fly overhead that you hit the ground and also push us down? Why do you still have nightmares about something that happened 30+ years ago? WHY?

I have so many unanswered questions of my own that trying to answer their questions overwhelms me. The only answer I have ever been able to give myself or family is "Because God has something better planned for me and that was a training ground to get me prepared".

I'm open to any suggestions from anyone out there. I wish I had the answers to give parents/spouse/family of KIA as well as our families. Until then I will continue to work as I hope the Lord wants me to. And continue to pray for guidance and support.

God Bless you and yours!
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Old 09-18-2005, 08:31 PM
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Re: And so, is that all there is?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stickthrower
I can't imagine having to answer your questions to a parent, spouse, or child. Unfortuanately I was on a "FUNERAL DETAIL" assignment for approximately one year upon my return to home from RVN. Some moron in Personnel decided with my recent past experience in combat I would be great performing funeral details, so I was assigned/attached to the HQ Co at Ft. Stewart, GA and made several funerals every month for RVN KIA'S and had the questions thrown at me by the families all over Georgia and Florida. I didn't have any answers then that didn't come out of the bottom of a bottle or from the ARMY's view point. After all these years, I still don't.

I wish I had an answer to these questions. However, I have questions of my own:

How do I answer my Dad, Mother, Brother, Spouse, Children when they ask: Why do you get angry with us for no apparant reason? Why do you always carry a weapon (your choice) when leaving the house, even to just go outside with us to play, cook out, change the water sprinkler, etc? Why do you freak out when one of us leaves the door unlocked at night? Why do you go out at night and walk around the house several times before you go to bed? Why can't we just come up and hug you without announcing ourselves? Why is it that when a child runs up to you when out in public that you get very upset/angry? Why is it when you hear a gunshot or planes fly overhead that you hit the ground and also push us down? Why do you still have nightmares about something that happened 30+ years ago? WHY?

I have so many unanswered questions of my own that trying to answer their questions overwhelms me. The only answer I have ever been able to give myself or family is "Because God has something better planned for me and that was a training ground to get me prepared".

I'm open to any suggestions from anyone out there. I wish I had the answers to give parents/spouse/family of KIA as well as our families. Until then I will continue to work as I hope the Lord wants me to. And continue to pray for guidance and support.

God Bless you and yours!
Hey thanks Frank. You know in your heart the answers to at least some of those questions.

Lets look at one at a time and see what we can come to as a conclusion. We spent a lot of time over in the anger threads but I would suggest that the anger is because of a sense of a loss of control in a situation. "They" will never see the reason but you have something going on from the past that when that loved one triggers off your stressors you react. It might just remind you of something that got someone killed and you had no control over it. You need to have everything in a particular order to remain in control and when something happens beyond your control or you perceive to be a danger or a personal attack, you go to this big adrenaline rush and counter attack and then its all down hill from there. You feel like crap and the family cant understand why you hate them when you know you would die to protect them. I need to think about this some more, but you can move this to another thread or keep it here.
Lots of stuff to look at.
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  #5  
Old 09-19-2005, 11:10 AM
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Re: And so, is that all there is?

I have wrestled with the same questions for years without any answers. The peace I have now comes from starting to know the one who does have the answers. I am finally learnig to believe that He will turn all things to good for those who trust Him. That seems to be enough for now to keep me from going off the deep end.

Sometimes it seems unfortunate we can't mandate what someone else ahould believe, we can only point to where our peace from after our most tragic situations.

While in coutry, I hated that song by Peggy Lee. We were flying home and just before the wheels hit the tarmac at Travis, someone in the back of the plane yelled out, "Is that all there is?" The entire plane full of grunts moaned and cracked up in response to that mega-understatement.
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Old 09-20-2005, 07:25 PM
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Re: And so, is that all there is?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ReconSGT_OIF
I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a son or daughter in this or any war. All I can do is offer my sympathy and express my servitude to their needs if possible. "I know your son cant be here for this, but how can I help?"
And the same goes to the widows of the war who have to go on living and raising their kids without their spouse... because there is not another option.
You are right Marc....I kind of lost sight of the goal there for a minute when I wrote the original post.

Maybe its time to start a new thread and see where it goes.....Frank has asked a ton of qoestions that we need to explore.
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Old 09-21-2005, 01:38 AM
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Re: And so, is that all there is?

Believer's Prayer

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.
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Old 10-05-2005, 01:05 AM
chapmic
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Re: And so, is that all there is?

For what it is worth, it is interesting to note that many of the founders of the early religious orders, eg, Franciscans, Jesuits, etc. were all Warriors first. Both Ignatius and Francis of Assisi were "Grunts" first! Seems like it prepared the way to the Lord for them. Just like us!
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