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  #1  
Old 11-22-2003, 05:21 PM
Sgt. Duffy-USMC
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Cross Glow Lg Clr 2 Death - Resurrection - Quest

DEATH - "The act or fact of dying; the ending of any form of life in people, animals, or plants."

RESURRECTION - "The act or fact of coming to life again; rising from the dead."

QUEST - "To go about in search of something; search or seek."

Para. 1> DEATH #1 -- Last fall, 2002, I had my second major heart attack. It was massive, painless and would prove fatal. I was air evacuated to Lubbock, Texas - Texas Tech University Medical Center and immediately operated upon. I died. I was dead 17 minutes. I turned blue in color. Life in any form did not exist. I was pronounced dead. On the operating table my body suddenly jerked, my eyes opened and a muffled scream came through the ventilator apparatus stuffed down my throat. The surgical team immediately opened up my chest and having removed veins from my legs, replaced 5 veins/arteries in my heart. The 5 arteries were blocked from 79% to 97%. I was moved to post op/intensive care.

Para. 2> DEATH #2 -- Two days later. Post Op/Intensive Care. A large growth the size of a grapefruit began to appear under the skin just below my heart and just above my stomach. I died, again - in the intensive care unit - the defibulator was used and an immediate second incision was made into my chest cavity. The surgical team removed 3 feet of my upper intestine, including the swelling blockage that stopped my heart.

Para. 3> DEATH #3 -- 36 hours later. Post Op/Intensive Care. I died, again - in the intensive care unit - the defibulator was used again and I was rushed to an available operating room. My chest cavity was re-opened for the 3rd time. There was a hole in my heart and I had bled to death. The hole was repaired and in the process my rib cage bones were sawed off at the ends and my sternum bone was cut out and removed because all of the bones had become infected. My chest cavity was closed again and I was returned to post op/intensive care.

Para. 4> COMA. I remained in a coma for 59 days, unconscious and unknowing. During the period of two months my family visited me from Canada, friends from New Mexico and all were advised that there was no chance what-so-ever that I would leave the hospital alive. My family and friends made funeral arrangements and waited for that final moment of irreversible death.

Para. 5> RESURRECTION. On the 59th day, my eyes opened and life began again. The long, long road of recovery-rehabilitation-pain-confusion-fear-and ultimately the acceptance that in spite of it all, my condition was still considered terminal - Death Will Occur Again - for me.... "There is no way out."

Para. 6> THE QUEST. I live now in a hospital bed and wheelchair here at my home in New Mexico. I have daily nurses care, I have a New Mexico Hospice that has aided me, and continues to do so in the process of accepting the death that is rapidly approaching to take me again. I have been ordained by the Roman Catholic Church as a member of the Secular Franciscan Order, patron saint, St. Francis of Assisi, Order-St. Margaret of Cortona. I am an uncloistered Monk. I have taken the same vows as a priest, celibacy, poverty and obedience to my church and my Lord. My diocese assignment from the church? Do that which you are best able to do in order to serve the Lord... continue with my work with Vets, while carrying out the duties of an Archivist for the Church. I accept all of the above, with honor and pride and vow to remain "always faithful" - "Semper Fidelis" to these goals and this "Quest".

Para. 7> CLOSING. I have been in contact with Dana and Ben Webster for many months now trying to find a way to help. Pointman has provided this Chapel, the church has provided the computer and equipment and along with my nurse I spend the summer in short trips throughout New Mexico, Colorado and Arizona meeting with vets in person via the Moving Wall and some of the various Vet Groups. It's winter, my health continues to fail and my limitations continue to increase. But the clock continues to tick down....

Para. 8> ASSISTANCE REQUEST. Today I sent out a request for assistance (e-mail) to every member listed on our membership file. That request was not for me. That request for assistance is for the vets, families and those touched by them; those of us listed in this membership have the ability and means to reach out and make ourselves available either individually or as a team -group effort. We, you and I, survived - we did so for a reason. I think we all know what that reason might be - May the Lord be With Us.... IN OUR QUEST. AMEN.

SEMPER FIDELIS
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  #2  
Old 11-22-2003, 07:35 PM
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Cross Glow Sm Clr Christopher

While this site was being put together 3 Marines were on my mind. Some of the goals have already been reached, just by reading what has already been posted, bringing the Organization of Pointman closer together. The long range goal of this site is to bring the internet generation a place to find themselves with God. My personnel feeling is that if I can reach out and help just one vet or a family member, than I have accomplished something (but I won't quit thier).

If you want to know the 3 Marines:
(late) Br. Gene O.S.B., Father In Law
Dana, brother
(late) Travis, son
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  #3  
Old 11-23-2003, 01:19 AM
Sgt. Duffy-USMC
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Cross Glow Lg Clr 2 Gratitude

I heard a speech given at the Moving Wall this summer in Cimarron, New Mexico, one line stood out then and rings in my ears now.

"Only the combat veteran knows the exact price he, or she, had to pay for your freedom."

You have put together a program here that has the potential to help and serve others, as well as ourselves. The number of e-mails I have already received today has had a dramatic effect on my general well being already.

It would be difficult to put into words the extent of my relief and gratitude for your accomplishments thus far. I say, thus far, because I don't believe for a moment that you will...."quit there either."

Congratulations, A.J., you are doing it, my friend.... you are really doing it.

Semper Fi
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  #4  
Old 11-23-2003, 04:00 AM
Pieksma
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Sgt Duffy.
Thank you very muich for your testimony.

You have a brother in christ in Sweden.
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  #5  
Old 11-23-2003, 06:55 AM
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Growing closer and having Bros (there is strength in numbers) is something I have longed for. Thanks to all!

Once a Marine, always a Marine... but in His service now,

Tom (TXMarine)
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  #6  
Old 11-23-2003, 09:29 AM
Dean Black
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Death And Beyond"

Sgt Duffy, Brother I am proud to call you Brother, I am not a Marine, but we are a Band Of Brothers called to lead our unsaved Vet Brothers out of darkness, into Gods Light. Where they too can make peace with the Almigty and secure their place in His Holy Assembly Area. I served with the 173d and 5th SFG (SOG) and the 82nd ABN Div, in Combat. I too have been to the Point of Death on three occassions, and classified Terminal. I suffer from COPD. I have 80% or more permanent lung damage. But as long as God has a need for me I know that I will be on Point.
Besides, Terminal is a building at the airport. "Airborne All The Way." Dean
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Old 11-23-2003, 12:07 PM
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Banana Answer to Sgt Duffy

Sgt Duffy,

I think that we all in our own way have been picked to help in our own ways.

Like you .. I had a near death experience. In September 1991. I was a passenger in a vehicle that rolled over several times and hit a wind warning sign where I was setting. The impact crushed the roof down on my head and neck, breaking my neck in two places C4-C5.

I was lucky in the fact that we were traveling out of state (Nebraska) and we were being followed by a motor home that contained a group of nurses returning from a convention in Chicago. They stopped to render aid before the dust settled.

Going in the other direction on the interstate and witnessing the accident was a Nebraska Highway Patrolman. He made a U-turn and came back to give life giving assistance. He was able to take his car jack and jack the roof up enough so that I could breath (at the time I was not breathing and had turned blue).

As it turned out the biggest Trauma Hospital in Nebraska was only 4 miles away and they had a helicopter rescue team with equipment such as the jaws of life. It only took them minutes to cut me out and get me to the hospital.

My wife at the time was at home in California. She was called from information found in my wallet, with my ID. ( You should always carry emergency contacts with you). She was told to fly there as soon as possible, I was not expected to live more then 24 hours. She arrived early the next morning after flying all night. When she arrived she was told that I may live but that if I did live I would never walk again.

For the next 2 years I was in and out of hospitals (in bed). Then after a lot of treatment I was able to get into a wheel chair. I spent another 4 years in a wheel chair. I told myself that this was not for a Marine. And on my own, in the privacy of my bed room, after my wife had gone to bed in another bedroom, I started teaching myself how to stand. It was a lot of pain. I felt that the pain was good because it meant I had feeling.

After some time I started taking my first steps. More like falling.. but still moving my legs (I have little to no feeling from the waist down). My first month was taking a total of 3 steps from my bed to my bath room. Then each night I would force myself to go a little further. Unit I could walk to the bedroom door. a distance of exactly 8 steps. My wife opened the door one morning, unexpectedly, and saw me taking my steps. after that she was there to help.

Between the two of us I started walking from my bed to the living room, then the kitchen. After seven months, I went outside on my own and started walking to our mail box.

Over the next year, I walked further and further. Today I walk 5 miles every day. The doctors still can not believe it. I meet people all the time that tell me of their minor pains and how they can not do things because of them. I do not tell them of the problems I had and they can not tell by looking at me. We each have to overcome in our own way.

I think God for my Marine Corps training. For without it, I would have never survived. God put each and everyone of us here for a reason. I still do not know if I have a calling.

Someday I will know.
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  #8  
Old 11-23-2003, 03:45 PM
Freddo
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In response to Sgt Duffy...

Reporting in as requested.
Freddo
From the Land Down-Under
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  #9  
Old 11-23-2003, 09:35 PM
Sgt. Duffy-USMC
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Thank you, Freddo.

......for "reporting in as requested". I want you to know how much that means to me.... and how much it is appreciated. I ask for assistance and you responded immediately. Your quick response was the assistance that I needed. And you did it without question and without reservation. It's a good feeling to know that I have a Brother in "Down Under" Australia.

I am still trying to figure this Chapel system out, I've only been on about 30 hours and am still fumbling around. For instance, does anyone know how to reply to individual messages that are above in the thread link...Death - Resurrection - Quest for instance. The last post to the tread allows you to respond to the person making the last post, in this case, you Freddo. But I can find no buttons to respond to the individual posts above your last one. HMMMM....typical Marine....30 hours self training and I already want to be transferred to the Pentagon.

Since I don't know how to do it, and if you won't be offended I will take this opportunity in responding to your post to try and reply briefly to the other post listed above.

STEFAN PIEKSMA - Thanks for taking the time to read my post and like having a brother in Australia -Freddo - it's a nice feeling to have one in Sweden as well. Thank you.

TXMarine - You spoke the words that I had not been able to come up with.... that feeling of growing closer and having brothers....a feeling that you have longed for....Well TX I'm axactly the same. I have longed for it too. No woe is me stuff - but I've done little more than sit in this wheel chair and wait... and this Forum and the response of so many people so quickly nearly blew me out of the wheelchair. I had a tough time stopping the tears today when I logged on an found the amazing response. You and I have a common bond in this "longing" thing TX. Perhaps, we have found a way via Point Man to escape that lonely feeling and at the same time, like you have done with me, maybe, just maybe, help one of our own brothers or sisters through the media that Point Man is and will, become. Your words...once a Marine, always a Marine. That is brotherhood, this chapel is a symbol of that and a place for people like you and me to come to share it. Semper Fi

Dean Black - There are many things I would like to say. Thanks, is the first... for reading my post and responding to me call for assistance. But the one I want to say that will stick in my mind everytime I get that crying in my beer, woe is me, feeling is the statement you made that I have now adopted as my go to bed prayer and my morning coffee wake up prayer: "Terminal? Hell, that's a building at the airport!". Semper Fi

Chuck - Your horrible auto accident, death-turning blue- your painful and very lengthy rehab and recovery is beyond my comprehension. Your endurance and determination - your pain and suffering - were so far more extreme than mine that I feel almost embarrased about sitting here feeling sorry for myself. You are an inspiration to me. My doctor asked me a few weeks ago if I was suicidal. I said no, doc, I'm to full of despair to waste the energy to attempt suicide. I don't know what to say to you, Chuck.... your story has so changed my thinking... You said, "I still don't know if I have a calling." and you closed with, "Someday I will know." You are wrong. You do know you have a calling. Don't you? And you know what it is, don't you? I think you do know....I'm real sure of it as a matter of fact. Semper Fi

Summary- I want to thank the dozens of people who responded so rapidly and willingly to my call for assistance in the last 24 hours. I'm overwhelmed. Individually, each of you in your own way touched my heart and gave me strength. Collectively your all have given me a new direction in life. That is a gift that carries no price tag. I look forward to speaking with you all again here at Point Man - or my E-Mail address - and if I can't be reached at either of those you can reach me at the Terminal - that's a building at the airport.

Have a safe a joyous Holiday Season
Semper Fi
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  #10  
Old 11-23-2003, 10:39 PM
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Sgt. Duffy-USMC....

I think that our stories.. are one and the same.. In this world of choice.. we have no choice. Our choice will be made for us without the benefit of any input from us.

In your case it was the sudden heart attack.. in my case it was the sudden automotive accident. I should add that at the time of my accident I was a sleeping passenger. I went to sleep and awoke 3 days later in a hospital room with my wife standing over me. I had my seat belt attached as it should be. The driver of the car did not have his seat belt fastened. At the time of the accident when the vehicle started to roll.. he was lifter out of the seat. This saved his life because the entire left side of the vehile was ripped away. Had he had his seat belt attached he would have been held in place and would have been cut in two. As it was almost every bone on his left side was broken.. Left arm, ribs, pelvis, left leg and foot. He was in his 70's then.. he made a full recovery and lived on, dying at the age of 82 of a heart attack.

What I am trying to say is that no matter how you try to plan or what you may have arranged for yourself as to your future.. you really have no say in the outcome. Only God has that say.

As military.. in our cases ... Marines.. we joined ... we served.. and we agreed to die.. yet it was not our time.

Keep on doing your writing as long as you can. Your fingers may not be on the keyboard.. but your thoughts are in the message.. That is what God is telling you to do. So, keep doing it.

I have viewed the moving wall serveal times.. each time is like seeing it for the first time. I will always honor those that did not return because I am a Marine......
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  #11  
Old 11-24-2003, 02:02 AM
Sgt. Duffy-USMC
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Cross Glow Sm Clr

Chuck,

I agree with you that our stories seem to be one and the same. The circumstances were different, but the outcome has been the same in at least a couple of ways. Important ways.

We survived death. We did the rehab. We recovered, or are still doing so and we have met here in this chapel with almost identical beliefs attempting to do the same thing. Devote our lives to a cause controlled only by the Lord.

When I opened my eyes in the hospital after being unconscious for 59 days a member of the surgical team was standing beside my hospital bed. He told me, briefly of the trauma involved with the surgery, the fact that I had died three times, and used the word "miracle" to describe the fact that I was alive. I brushed it off as good Okie Doke hospital bedside manners. It wasn't until a few minutes more that he told me that he had considered leaving the medical field because of his discouragement. He said that he worked so many times in surgery, so hard, and so often thought his patient would make it only to see them die that he had lost faith in himself and the medical field. And then he said, with tears forming in his eyes..." and then you came along and managed to make it when no man should have...when the entire team had given up...you made it in spite of it all." He went on to say, visibly shaken, " You are the reason I became a Doctor." There was a long silence as he fought back his tears...."You are a true miracle, this entire hospital watched it happen, something very very powerful wanted to keep you alive".

I asked him to give me his hands. He held them out and I reached up with a great deal of effort and held both of his hands in mine. I said, Doctor if you and your staff believe that this was truly a miracle, then that miracle was performed through these two hands of yours....we cried together.

Chuck, I am sorry for you, and I am sorry for me. For what we had to experience. I would not want to do it again, I would not wish it on anyone, and I regret the daily present price I have to pay to struggle with what life is left for me. But there is another way to look at it.

I was there, Chuck. So were you. On the other side. I saw what was there.... and my friend...there really is something there. I am greatful for this....I do not have to wonder or ponder, or speculize on the existance of the Lord.... not anymore... I know.... I was there. And He is too. Waiting.

I do not fear my upcoming death, really I don't. What do I fear? That I won't have time to do what it is he sent me back here to do or that I might somehow screw up and do it wrong!

In less than 48 hours you and I have zoomed through cyberspace and met in this chapel and as for me crossed a barrier of life.... and death... both searching for .... for... what? The Honor, the Dignity, the Power, the Knowledge, the Faith, the Strength and the Devotion to serve our Lord. Isn't that pretty close, Marine?

And isn't that exactly what we are doing in this chapel this very moment?

Goodnight, my friend.

Semper Fi
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  #12  
Old 11-24-2003, 09:11 AM
mike schuller
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SNOW_SNOW_SNOW

From North Eastern Washington.

Greetings Christopher,

"Devoting our lives to a cause controlled only by the lord"
Our greastest battle is yet to come, but coming soon. We are going to see a revival in this land that will sweep through our Towns, Cities and Nations. A battle that will be fought from Heaven by the Saints." I'll stand beside you."
My desire when I stand in front of my father is to hear "Well Done Soldier"
Its time for all us old soldiers to raise up in prayer and be heard from.

God Bless You
Mike---PMIM Out Post, Chewelah Wa.
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Old 11-24-2003, 04:40 PM
Freddo
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Cross Glow Sm Clr Why we're here...

G'day to all my Brothers in Christ!
I appreciate and am encouraged by the openness and honesty in the sharing of your testimonies. They minister to each of us in some way and enable an afinity for each other. However, during reading your posts, I found myself asking the above question, "Why are we all here?" One could simply say, "It's God's will" and I would agree with that. In the economy of God nothing happens by chance! So, why are we here? I really believe it is because all of us have a Christian legacy left to us by some loving and obedient member of the Body of Christ - whether in our family lines, or friend of our family, or someone who took time to intercede somewhere in the past - and along the way we have walked we simply got in the way of that prayer!
For those who don't know my involvement in Vietnam began when I served with the RAAF at Ubon, Thailand in 63 and then after I became aircrew on the C130A's of 36 Squadron, from 66-68 I made numerous trips to SVN and Medivac'd home our dead and wounded (always landing in OZ in the late night or early morning to avoid the press!) I came unstuck by landing in the early days of what became the TET Offensive at Phan-Rhang on 3 Feb 68. I was immediately seconded to the 5th AF flying village evacuations into Cam-Ranh Bay. My log book tells me that when I arrived back but I still don't remember anything that I did until they grounded me in June 68! It's all in my log book but I remember nothing of it. I lost faith in God; faith in my country; faith in my service; and hope in life! It wasn't until Easter 1978 on the Sunday morning that I found (even though he wasn't lost!) the real Lord Jesus Christ. So, why am I here? Because in the family history, back in 1911, one of my ancestors prayed that, "May my children's, children's, children know the Lord"! Yes, I'm here because in my family ancestory they have left a legacy of the Christian faith to their descendents! Yes, they belong to the Saints of Hebrews 12:1! So too, in your family lines; your neighbours; the church in your town who prayed for their sons at war; the prayer of a righteous man availeth much!!!
Freddo
Col 3:1-4
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Old 11-24-2003, 05:19 PM
scrap
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Hey all. Just wanted to say Hi to everyone. I think there is a good thing going on here, and glad that it is. With the way is world is these days I'm glad to see some good on the inter net. For what its worth, I thank A vet every day. I'm glad you were there, here and yet to be there. If it were not for you we would be hurting. No freedom to make our live a mess. No freedom to send our kids to the best school, work and anything we want, or nothing for that fact. You made the U.S. A. what it is today and what it will be tomarrow.



Good bless you all, and thanks again
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  #15  
Old 11-24-2003, 09:15 PM
Sgt. Duffy-USMC
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Quote:
Originally posted by mike schuller

SNOW_SNOW_SNOW

From North Eastern Washington.

Greetings Christopher,

"Devoting our lives to a cause controlled only by the lord"
Our greastest battle is yet to come, but coming soon. We are going to see a revival in this land that will sweep through our Towns, Cities and Nations. A battle that will be fought from Heaven by the Saints." I'll stand beside you."
My desire when I stand in front of my father is to hear "Well Done Soldier"
Its time for all us old soldiers to raise up in prayer and be heard from.

God Bless You
Mike---PMIM Out Post, Chewelah Wa.
Mike,

Thanks for that post. If I read it real fast, three times, and put on some John Phillip Souza marching music in the background, I do believe a crowd would form to raise a cheer. God Bless You, too, Mike. Have a great Turkey Day.

Sgt. Duffy
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Old 11-24-2003, 09:34 PM
Sgt. Duffy-USMC
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Re: Why we're here...

Quote:
Originally posted by Freddo
G'day to all my Brothers in Christ!
I appreciate and am encouraged by the openness and honesty in the sharing of your testimonies. They minister to each of us in some way and enable an afinity for each other. However, during reading your posts, I found myself asking the above question, "Why are we all here?" One could simply say, "It's God's will" and I would agree with that. In the economy of God nothing happens by chance! So, why are we here? I really believe it is because all of us have a Christian legacy left to us by some loving and obedient member of the Body of Christ - whether in our family lines, or friend of our family, or someone who took time to intercede somewhere in the past - and along the way we have walked we simply got in the way of that prayer!
For those who don't know my involvement in Vietnam began when I served with the RAAF at Ubon, Thailand in 63 and then after I became aircrew on the C130A's of 36 Squadron, from 66-68 I made numerous trips to SVN and Medivac'd home our dead and wounded (always landing in OZ in the late night or early morning to avoid the press!) I came unstuck by landing in the early days of what became the TET Offensive at Phan-Rhang on 3 Feb 68. I was immediately seconded to the 5th AF flying village evacuations into Cam-Ranh Bay. My log book tells me that when I arrived back but I still don't remember anything that I did until they grounded me in June 68! It's all in my log book but I remember nothing of it. I lost faith in God; faith in my country; faith in my service; and hope in life! It wasn't until Easter 1978 on the Sunday morning that I found (even though he wasn't lost!) the real Lord Jesus Christ. So, why am I here? Because in the family history, back in 1911, one of my ancestors prayed that, "May my children's, children's, children know the Lord"! Yes, I'm here because in my family ancestory they have left a legacy of the Christian faith to their descendents! Yes, they belong to the Saints of Hebrews 12:1! So too, in your family lines; your neighbours; the church in your town who prayed for their sons at war; the prayer of a righteous man availeth much!!!
Freddo
Col 3:1-4
Dear Freddo,

"Why are we all here?" That really is... a rather... haunting questions, isn't it. Actually is almost makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

You spoke of the honesty and openess of the posts entered here in Pointman Chapel....everyone seems to have been able to just cut through all the foo foo rah, and get right to the point. For me this chapel feels like a haven... a safe place to be... one of those places where you feel immediately home and can't quite understand why you do. Does it remind you of anything? Like, for instance the Brotherhood/Sisterhood Bonding of that has occured in the wars of the past... and is now occuring in the war of today? The people of Pointman Chapel are coming together very rapidly, Freddo. It leaves me a little awed by it all.

I detected your sadness when you desribed landing after dark to avoid the press. When you read the many posts here at the Chapel, you can see others , myself included, that share that same quiet sadness.

You said, "It is God's will that we are here?". I think so my friend. I really think so. And you know what, Freddo? I'm really glad that your here.

Sgt. Duffy
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  #17  
Old 11-24-2003, 09:50 PM
Sgt. Duffy-USMC
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Quote:
Originally posted by scrap
Hey all. Just wanted to say Hi to everyone. I think there is a good thing going on here, and glad that it is. With the way is world is these days I'm glad to see some good on the inter net. For what its worth, I thank A vet every day. I'm glad you were there, here and yet to be there. If it were not for you we would be hurting. No freedom to make our live a mess. No freedom to send our kids to the best school, work and anything we want, or nothing for that fact. You made the U.S. A. what it is today and what it will be tomarrow.



Good bless you all, and thanks again
Hey there, Scrap,

Hi, to you too. I most assuredly agree with your statement about, "...glad to see some good on the internet." The internet is today, what TV was to be years and years and years, ago. A learning teaching device. Well, I don't have to tell you what TV is today. Hard to find a channel that you can learn anything on, but PBS, DISCOVERY, and a couple of others. The rest is....oh well, entertainment, I think it's called. The internet....still has a chance... search it carefully, and presto! I'm talking to Scrap who is out there somewhere in cyberspace looking for something a little bit more important in his life than something halfway between here, and nearly there. Thanks, Scrap. Thank you, very much.

Sgt. Duffy
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  #18  
Old 11-24-2003, 10:01 PM
Sgt. Duffy-USMC
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pieksma
Sgt Duffy.
Thank you very muich for your testimony.

You have a brother in christ in Sweden.
Thank you very much, Pieksma.

I consider your statement saying I have a brother in Christ in Sweden as an Honor. I accept it with the Honor and Dignity that such a statement deserves.

When you get a free moment to jump back into the Chapel, I would certainly enjoy hearing about your life in Sweden. Would I be intruding on your privacy if I were to ask you to share some of that with us? I hope not, if so, please forgive me.

Have a great day, my friend, and thank you for your e-mail.

Sgt. Duffy
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  #19  
Old 11-24-2003, 10:14 PM
Sgt. Duffy-USMC
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Quote:
Originally posted by TXMarine
Growing closer and having Bros (there is strength in numbers) is something I have longed for. Thanks to all!

Once a Marine, always a Marine... but in His service now,

Tom (TXMarine)
Dear Tom,

We have already shared a couple of e-mails and a message or two in the Chapel, but I want to take a moment to reiterate on your statement, the part, "something I have longed for." Tom, you don't know how closely I can relate to that feeling. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind since I read it.

I feel so very much the same way. I've just got to tell you... I really respect your strength in making the open statement... that really took guts to open yourself up so sincerily and honestly.

Sometimes, no, most of the time, I hold my feelings so deeply within myself that they are untouchable by anything human. Not even I can reach deep enough inside to express or deal with some of these feelings that I harbor, bury and keep so well hidden. And then you just enter a couple of sentences in your post and all of my feelings start rumbling around and looking for a way out of the prison I've kept them in.

I long for it too, Tom.

Sgt. Duffy
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  #20  
Old 11-25-2003, 07:14 PM
Freddo
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Cross Glow Sm Clr Adding to some "soul" talk...

He brought my soul out or prison
That I might praise His Name
The righteous shall encompass me
About, for He hath dealt bountifully
With me, with me, with me.
For He hath dealt bountifully
With me, with me, with me.

The words of a chorus that I first learned in 1978 when I met the real Lord Jesus Christ. It didn't mean all that much to me at first but, like an ad jingle I couldn't get it out of my mind. After some weeks being a dummy as to what was happening I began to think about the words - initially they didn't mean much to me as I then thought that I hadn't spent time in prison! - it wasn't until I plucked up the courage to ask the Lord what the words were all about, that I soon realised that for many years I had been locked in a prison without bars! I was a prisoner to my own thoughts of my sins, guilt, failure, even of cowardice - after a cumulative five years involvement with Vietnam - by applying for discharge from the Air Force because I had had enough and could not go back to it for the umpteenth time! The Holy Spirit led me to two Scriptures: Romans 12:2 made me realise that I needed to "renew my mind" and 2 Cor 10:5 told me clearly that I had to "take every thought captive to Christ" Wow!!! I knew that my mind was located in my "soul" and that is also where the "seat of my emotions" are located. I remembered that I had been taught that if I have been Born Again, that I am a new creation and that old things had passed away and for the first time I realised that I was not being obedient to the Word by allowing (or was that "wallowing"?) my thoughts from the past to control me!
So began an exercise that I do frquently to this day - except when I am so thick that I forget to do it - I knew that my mind was not like a tape recorder and could not be erased. So, I began literally bringing every wrong thought and every feeling that was negative to the Lord - sometimes quietly, sometimes out loud between the Lord and myself. however, I got the real victory when I realised that it wasn't the thoughts that were the problem, but it was the "power" that those thoughts had! Simple answer, I had my brother pray with me that, "the power of the thoughts from the past in Fred's mind be broken in Jesus' Name"! So I now know that there is one understanding and there are two battles to be won that makes life easier for guys like us (and others too!) No 1 - we must understand who we are in Christ. No 2 - know that the major battle is in the Mind and No 3 - make sure we win the Battle to Pray!
Yours and His,
Freddo
--
Col 3:1-4
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