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  #1  
Old 11-08-2003, 01:56 PM
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Ptsd Issues

Pointman Ministries was started in 1984 to address PTSD issues among Veterans in the Seattle area. It quickly expanded across the United States and now has Outposts in 37 states and six foreign countries. This forum is for discussion of issues that have plagued Vets and their families for years and the peace that can be found through Jesus Christ.
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  #2  
Old 11-18-2003, 06:15 PM
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Some links

Hi,
I received these links today and they deal with suicide awarenes ......please take the time to check them out and comment if you wish.

http://www.usmc.mil/almars/almar2000...ht=2,CHAPLAINS

ANOTHER ARTICLE TO READ....

http://www.usmc.mil/almars/almar2000...ht=2,CHAPLAINS

CHECK THIS OUT:
http://www.usmc.mil/almars/almar2000...hesaurus=FALSE
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  #3  
Old 11-25-2003, 01:55 PM
Sgt. Duffy-USMC
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Dear Dana,

Notice how few people open this PTSD forum? I can't speak for anyone but myself, and I am not attempting too.

It terrifies me.

Opening this forum means to me that I might have to deal with memories long since buried, stuffed, crammed, and shoved aside as much as I am capable of doing. That's called DENIAL.

Who cares what it's called. I have done it for so long that I know no other way to deal with it. The actions that caused the PTSD took place over months and months in the jungles. That was horrible enough. The memories/flashbacks, re-run the tapes at high speed and in a matter of minutes, sometimes only seconds I can re-live it all. Instantaneously.

I know from reading the posts already in other forums here at the Pointman Chapel that there are at least TWO members who have considerable experience in this area. Both have already, unknowingly, opened doors for me that I have up till now kept so tightly sealed that the information contained behind those sealed doors could not be penetrated by the worst of chemical warfare. I am glad this PTSD FORUM IS HERE, whether I enter or not. Just seeing it on the list is causes a moment of fear and acts as a wake-up call to a problem that I have as yet not addressed.

I won't mention the TWO names that could hold some of the keys to my locked doors...they know who they are...but I will volunteer this much....

I'M HERE, WAITING...

Sgt. Duffy
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Old 11-26-2003, 09:27 PM
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Duffy, I'll tell you this

Quote:
Originally posted by Sgt. Duffy-USMC
Dear Dana,

Notice how few people open this PTSD forum? I can't speak for anyone but myself, and I am not attempting too.

It terrifies me.

Opening this forum means to me that I might have to deal with memories long since buried, stuffed, crammed, and shoved aside as much as I am capable of doing. That's called DENIAL.

Who cares what it's called. I have done it for so long that I know no other way to deal with it. The actions that caused the PTSD took place over months and months in the jungles. That was horrible enough. The memories/flashbacks, re-run the tapes at high speed and in a matter of minutes, sometimes only seconds I can re-live it all. Instantaneously.

I know from reading the posts already in other forums here at the Pointman Chapel that there are at least TWO members who have considerable experience in this area. Both have already, unknowingly, opened doors for me that I have up till now kept so tightly sealed that the information contained behind those sealed doors could not be penetrated by the worst of chemical warfare. I am glad this PTSD FORUM IS HERE, whether I enter or not. Just seeing it on the list is causes a moment of fear and acts as a wake-up call to a problem that I have as yet not addressed.

I won't mention the TWO names that could hold some of the keys to my locked doors...they know who they are...but I will volunteer this much....

I'M HERE, WAITING...

Sgt. Duffy

Scare you? Scare you? me too and I cant tell you why. One day after the Platoon movie had been out for five or six months, a friend and his wife talked me and my wife into seeing it. Mistake. I never went to movies, especially Vietnam movies. I found myself talking to the actors at certain points and when we left, I was five or eight steps ahead of them. The nightmares started after that.

One time a preacher came to our Church in 1989. Was a Vietnam Vet and he was killed in Vietnam and was brought back. Like you. His testimony was intense. But at the end, he gave the call and I went forward. I was already saved, I had no Idea why I went forward. I found my self sobbing uncontrollably and all I could see were faces of my closest friends in the Nam that were all dead. All of em. I could not tak. I could not stand. I went to my seat and sat and could not move. Sat for a long time. I can tell you all the times I cried between 1969 and 1989. Then I could not stop. All I could see was my dead friends. Driving to work, I was in Vietnam.
That was all I could think about. All I could talk about.

Seemed once the door was open, I could not shut it...
BUT GOD....I went to a Pointman Conference in May 1989 and found out I was not the only one and found plenty of answers...found out if I talked to others with the same issues....who knew?.....that there was real healing in Jesus Christ. So I was introduced to PMIM and here I am, still have issues...but it is not the same.
with Jesus , along with the issues I now have peace.
Priceless.
Dana
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Old 11-27-2003, 07:35 PM
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One day

One day when the Moving wall was in a town nearby, a young person gave me this note, from her mom who was nearby...it was on the last day and the Wall was being taken down...just want to share it with you all....
It speaks for itself...
Dana
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  #6  
Old 11-27-2003, 07:38 PM
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Re: One day

Quote:
Originally posted by Danausmc
One day when the Moving wall was in a town nearby, a young person gave me this note, from her mom who was nearby...it was on the last day and the Wall was being taken down...just want to share it with you all....
It speaks for itself...
Dana

oops, left out the attachment...
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  #7  
Old 12-08-2003, 01:06 AM
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Cross Glow Sm Clr Sgt.Duffy

Yup, Scary is the word! Yet when I met the demons head on, I got alot stronger at the site of the wound. Scripture, tells us that' "in our weakness we come to our FULL strength" With the dudes from Point Man and Jesus on patrol with us, the scariness transforms into the Lion with a newfound courage- promise!
Mike/ Outpost Leader/ Tucson
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Old 12-09-2003, 07:40 AM
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Angel Flying Sword Ty Clr Speaking Out

I am the wife of a Vietnam veteran. One of the problems we women have with our vets is that they do not want to discuss Post Traumatic Stress issues UNLESS they have already accepted the reality of their PTSD . . . AND they are willing to work for a more tranquil life. It's hard to talk about it because talking often means triggers and NO ONE wants to go there!! I'm really proud of you guys for starting this forum. It will help both vets and their spouses. We'll just have to be patient while the momentum builds. Peace be with you all.
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  #9  
Old 12-15-2003, 09:02 PM
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Dana,

I just read your post in, "Death, etc, etc". So I decided to re-read the post you referred to here in PTSD. I also re-read the others here, and Lydias. Your comments on the Death thread are pretty much correct. I think that mostly it is the unknown factor of death that seems to draw some... for me it was because I've died three times last fall and still wonder about what I saw while in that 59 day coma. I saw things there, Dana. I lived there for two months, I felt, I smelled, I tasted. It was real... and it was on the other side, as the term is used. The story of those two months of unconsiousness and three seperate confirmed clinical deaths would fill a book the size of volume one of the encyclopedia britannica. I'm never going to tell that story. But I can tell you this much... I know... positively... from experience... that there is something... on the other side. And the Lord is waiting, my friend.

As to the "Bible Thumpers" in the Select Few? I'm at the top of that list! I mentioned you and AJ with pride, Marine. So when we get the chance to thump someone with a Bible, remember, I've got mine too. And I will thump you right back.. count on it.

As for the referral to my post above in PTSD that you mentioned? I stand on my willful admission, and your statement to the affect that "Let's live... not die", by quoting myself from above:

"Opening the PTSD forum causes me a moment of fear and acts as a wake up call to a problem that I have as yet not addressed."

You are correct in your recent post in Death... we should live our lives for today, let the past go, and move on. Well, Marine, that's what I'm trying to do.

Semper Fi
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Old 12-15-2003, 09:20 PM
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Under control

Sgt Duffy..

I don't come to this site much unless AJ or Dana need a little help or information...

But when I am here I personally look up your posts...

I wanted to just let you know "from the back seat" that you are on the right track. God is always there guiding you. He will show you the way as I'm already sure you know.
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  #11  
Old 12-16-2003, 02:09 AM
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Lets go there together

you said:
"Opening the PTSD forum causes me a moment of fear and acts as a wake up call to a problem that I have as yet not addressed."


Lets go there together and address this....
Dana
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Old 12-16-2003, 11:02 AM
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Dana,

That rattled my cage!!!!!

Made my heart skip a couple of beats.

And sent shivers up and down my spine.

I was a substance abuse counselor and a halfway house manager. A clients first response to that type of invitation? Fight or Flight!?

My instant gut response? The same as 90% of my clients. Flight!

My instant professional response? We are on very, very dangerous ground attempting such a thing with a naked monitor and keyboard.

Do you really feel that the two of us are sufficiently qualified to handle such an effort? Have you really given thought to the potential outcome if things go wrong? Am I prepared to take a risk that my own shrink won't even touch?

Your short invitation, "...so let's address it." has got to be the most provocative statement I've heard in a very long time. It has already shown me one thing....how very thin the shell is that holds in all of these "stuffed" (Denial) emotions.

I don't know what "your plan" is to address this problem... but before we take step number two... I would like to bring it to your attention that you and I, through your statement and my contemplation concerning attempting it - has just placed the two of us smack dab in the middle of one very nasty mine field.

Think about it - very seriously Dana - because I am sure as hell going to have to. I've got sirens and whistles and warning bells going off all over the place... neither one of us can afford to twitch a muscle in this mine field without a lot of Prayer to our Lord.

Oh, I am so serious. I suggest we FREEZE! WHERE WE ARE! Pray that we know what we're doing... and don't kneel to do it!

Duffy
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Old 12-16-2003, 05:43 PM
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Let me say this

Yes, it is very scary. But I will tell you a few things from my own experience.
There were many times in the past that I was so scared, I did not even realize it until later, and sometimes years later. On two different ocaisions, something happened that at the time, I did not even think about. But even now, a certain sound will put me right there. SCARED all over again....plenty of adrenalin..fight or flight? Cant choose flight because I might get blown up. When someone would get blown up, we went about our business like nothing happened. But everytime the cooks lit the heater in the trash can to wash your messkit, the sound was like the detonator on a mine. Scared the hell out of ya.
I'll tell ya a vision I had. I carried a guy with MS into Church and we were praying about ??? I had to hold him up in his chair or he would fall over. So we always sat in the seats. he was two years younger than me. Anyway, I looked up and saw the sky. One of those so bright it hurt your eyes skies in Vietnam. Then I looked down and saw a mine, and there were two BIG guys holding me inches above the mine. They were a good eight feet tall. (I will post another pic and text so you get the context of this.)
Remember the whole time I am sitting in Church.
What I really think about this is, and I am committed to it is, Jesus Christ IS the answer.
Someone once said at a conference I was at the PTSD is incurable. But in the same breath says Jesus is the answer. Well if you expect me to believe God raised JESUS from the dead, why dont we believe HE is able to get us through our PTSD issues, and every other issue we can conceivably have?
Remember if it is only you and me, we are in trouble, BUT with JESUS at the center, we are now a three strand cord and not easily broken.
There are more than just you and me and this is one tough question that we in fact have worn on our sleeve, fed and watered, for at least thirty five years.
We are free, we need to start walking in that freedom or we will lose it.
I have learned a lot just watching you. The response you shared to some posts at the other site would not have been my flesh response.
I like what the boys said before they got tossed in the furnace....
Our God is able to save us from the fiery furnace, but even if he does not, we will still trust in Him and we will not bow down or worship you. (my paraphrase)
Any way, it took decades to get to where we are and all of us together can get through this quagmire.
Dana
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Old 12-16-2003, 05:48 PM
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one more thing

When you counsel folks, no matter for what, do you tell them to jump in with both feet and let the chips fall? NO, I am sure you suggest little steps and more little steps and then they all equal big steps. That is my plan, pray a lot, take advantage of the prayers of others, and take little steps.
We have been locked in to this PTSD closet for so long, we cant see once we get out into the Light. And the Light will reveal everything.
Dana
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Old 12-16-2003, 05:54 PM
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Duffy, my Brother

And yet one more thing that I promised.....this should give you an idea about the text of my post
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Old 12-16-2003, 07:39 PM
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Sgt Duffy

here is the text of an article that may explain the previous three posts. And I just deleted much of what I was going to say because I might not be ready to go there right now..I hope it is clear enough to read.
Dana
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Old 12-17-2003, 10:03 PM
Sgt. Duffy-USMC
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Mine Fields & PTSD

Dana,

I don't think there is anything in your profile metioning mine fields. I know neither AJ OR CHUCK, mentioned it. I had no prior knowledge of it.

How would you account for this? I could have used any other terminology referring to combat situations...why... mine fields? Does that interest you? Does it make you wonder? Does it make you consider the idea that a power greater than ourselves is playing a role in this?

I do not fear continuing on with this with you. I ask however, that we keep it always in the "Open Forum" and never, under any set of circumstances "address the problem" privately.

You and AJ built this site, this is one of the purposes that you did so... to share. So let's keep it always in the open, where all of the members have an opportunity, if they should so choose, to enter their feeling and opinions as they individually feel is appropriate.

If that is acceptable to you, let us begin.

" I was a Counter Guerrilla Warfare Instructor - Counter Insurgency - 3rd Marine Division - Okinawa. When I face the Vietnam Veterans wall and walk slowly past it, I try to read all of the names, 58,238, and I can not remember the names of the people I trained... I can not remember their faces... and I wonder, how many of them did I fail?"

Duffy
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Old 12-18-2003, 05:39 PM
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lets start

Sgt Duffy,
you wrote....

If that is acceptable to you, let us begin.

" I was a Counter Guerrilla Warfare Instructor - Counter Insurgency - 3rd Marine Division - Okinawa. When I face the Vietnam Veterans wall and walk slowly past it, I try to read all of the names, 58,238, and I can not remember the names of the people I trained... I can not remember their faces... and I wonder, how many of them did I fail?"

Duffy


After re-reading the posts we have made......many times so far.....Im thinking ...what if...guilt...I should have...guilt....why didn't I?.....guilt....if only I would have.....guilt....played scenarios over and over and the outcome is always the same....they are, and Im not...Im here and they're not......
Did I fail them? What could I have done differently? Would it matter?
Every single person that lost their life in my platoon was blown up. Our job was to keep the road between AnHoa and Hill 37 clear of mines and booby traps. We always went the same way. Somedays were worse than others.
To answer your question about your selection of mine field for terminology....I usually dont bring it up so that is why you don't see it in a profile. Fits what we want to do here though.
I agree to keep our conversation open and in this forum also. It needs to be out where anyone can see it.
Back to my remarks...every time I see a Vet with no arms or legs, I think to myself, that should be me and WHY am I still whole? (At least on the physical side.)
Then I think I am sure glad it is them and not me and get horrible guilt for both responses.
I know that is irrational, but I also very rarely see Vets as broken, or missing limbs. To me I mostly see the person.....
But the times in the past that I don't and see the infirmity, I get all kinds of messed up.
I think that is far enough for me right now.
Semper Fi
Dana
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Old 12-19-2003, 06:56 PM
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Some pics

Duffy,
here are some pics.
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Old 12-19-2003, 06:59 PM
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and another

road damage from mine, detonated by NVA while planting it.
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