Normal?

The blinds are closed the curtains stapled shut, is paranoia I feel or am I just in a rut.

The depression that chases me now, somehow different than the depression before,

I trace it back to that time of war.

Not sure what to do I scramble around considering my house the battle ground.

What was that noise I heard outside, I quickly load my rifle with speed and pride.

Not to worry I tell myself I can react without thinking the army taught me that well.

Mag fully loaded I wait by the door down in the prone stretched out on the floor.

My training takes over my breathing is set, just pause before squeezing and deal with the mess.

I lay there in wait thinking back to Iraq, and that day my life changed in just a flash,

I had taken a life later to find the mans wallet with a picture of his wife.

The guilt I still carry today is a poignant reminder the world does not play.

All of the sudden I hear a noise, it’s at the front door my heart is pounding against the floor.

It’s no longer my house, it’s the desert I see Iraqis advancing I need to flee.

There is nowhere to go my buddies are here I owe them my life I’m embarrassed by fear.

The front door opens and that’s when it came, my rifle misfired I am to blame.

Just as I panic and jump to my feet I realize it’s my wife returning from across the street.

The flashbacks I see today are different than before now the Lord guides me to answer the door.

PTSD has not been fun but the lessons I have learned have improved my quality of life 10 fold. Thank you, Jesus for all you do…and Jesus…thanks for the misfire too.

[Don Dodson]

Wow! Thanks for your testimony.

Don "Oboeman" Dodson
Vietnam 1969-1970

That touched me, and for years I wouldn't let thing like that touch me.

ABN you have captured something intensely felt by combat vets in words, something rarely done. My personal thanks for sharing that story with us. May it continue to bless those who read it and inspire them to seek the same Jesus who is guiding you.