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Old 05-14-2005, 02:45 PM
snowyowl
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Accountability: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

My wife and I go to two different churches and I'd rather not discuss why on an open forum and it's just the way things are, period, because of circumstances beyond my control so please leave it at that.
Now with that out of the way, here's my gist.
Our four cats actually hold me more accountable than the church I go to.
I realized a month ago part of it is giving my phone number and address to them (A number of years ago I had a very bad experience because I did with a different congregation.) so as to be open to them as part of the congregation. And not hiding from them, just popping in and out on a regular basis.
I have noticed over the last thirty years accountability is usually associated with Cults and not so much the Body of Christ. With the Cults it's more of a continous background investigation of its members for whatever. In the Body of Christ as long as one can remain private and discrete and below the radar and be in the power structure, one can get away with almost anything (Though it will show up in some kind of manifestation.) That to me is the ugly and bad side of accountability-turning a blind eye.
The good side of accountability, is yes, calling each other into account, not to destroy but to build up each other, we as vets take things out on our spouses and kids, along with others, which as we know is domestic violence. Only in Pointman Ministry have I seen accountability used to build up and not to destroy. I know we have our faults though. Being in account to each other helps break this cycle.
I do know on a personal note other "people" can have a vested interest in adding ***t with intent of breaking a marriage to further their own agenda especially if they're related, throw in bad health, numerous appointments several times a week, work full time, NO HELP FROM THE CHURCH, and this had gone on for about eight years with three different Spirit-filled congregations. Yet they certainly wanted my money for their programs and no help in return. No help and no accountability and no break leads to only one thing: TOTAL STRUCTURIAL FAILURE.
Yes I am getting better only now. Part of it is my wife's church which helps their members and if I based my outlook on faith in action I'd jump over in nothing flat. Something about being the only true church, etc. sticks in my craw. I and them agree to disagree with additional material added to the Bible, etc. I do respect them for their beliefs and I love the church I go to though. So what I've learned from them is to try and help other members of my own church in the same fashion but my time constraints are still heavy.
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Old 05-14-2005, 05:59 PM
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danausmc danausmc is offline
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Re: Accountability: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Quote:
Originally Posted by snowyowl
My wife and I go to two different churches and I'd rather not discuss why on an open forum and it's just the way things are, period, because of circumstances beyond my control so please leave it at that.
Now with that out of the way, here's my gist.
Our four cats actually hold me more accountable than the church I go to.
I realized a month ago part of it is giving my phone number and address to them (A number of years ago I had a very bad experience because I did with a different congregation.) so as to be open to them as part of the congregation. And not hiding from them, just popping in and out on a regular basis.
I have noticed over the last thirty years accountability is usually associated with Cults and not so much the Body of Christ. With the Cults it's more of a continous background investigation of its members for whatever. In the Body of Christ as long as one can remain private and discrete and below the radar and be in the power structure, one can get away with almost anything (Though it will show up in some kind of manifestation.) That to me is the ugly and bad side of accountability-turning a blind eye.
The good side of accountability, is yes, calling each other into account, not to destroy but to build up each other, we as vets take things out on our spouses and kids, along with others, which as we know is domestic violence. Only in Pointman Ministry have I seen accountability used to build up and not to destroy. I know we have our faults though. Being in account to each other helps break this cycle.
I do know on a personal note other "people" can have a vested interest in adding ***t with intent of breaking a marriage to further their own agenda especially if they're related, throw in bad health, numerous appointments several times a week, work full time, NO HELP FROM THE CHURCH, and this had gone on for about eight years with three different Spirit-filled congregations. Yet they certainly wanted my money for their programs and no help in return. No help and no accountability and no break leads to only one thing: TOTAL STRUCTURIAL FAILURE.
Yes I am getting better only now. Part of it is my wife's church which helps their members and if I based my outlook on faith in action I'd jump over in nothing flat. Something about being the only true church, etc. sticks in my craw. I and them agree to disagree with additional material added to the Bible, etc. I do respect them for their beliefs and I love the church I go to though. So what I've learned from them is to try and help other members of my own church in the same fashion but my time constraints are still heavy.
Lots of thoughts here Owl. Sometimes it pays to find an "accountability" partner. In a sense like a sponsor at AA or some other like minded group. Works for any situation that controls you.
you are certainly right about remaining discrete, and under the radar. Lots of church leadership is like that, but you know, most of the people in the congregation expect the pastor or other leaders to be the Christian for them, and if they fall short of the congregation expectation, there is hell to pay.
In another thread, the for people that have been burned......there are so many churches , there is one for everybody that will tickle your ears and make you happy. The ones that challege your beliefs and your walk with God are few and far between.
Maybe I am not making sense, but I've been thinking about this for a long time.
I will post more later.
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Old 05-16-2005, 07:45 AM
Pointman69
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Re: Accountability: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Snowy - I'm finding most people in the church I go to don't have a clue where my wife and I are coming from. Their concerns are expressed from where they are at with God and what they have been through - good or bad, I think that's normal. My wife and I have shared our stories with some, most keep arms length from us after that. I chalk it up to, "they don't understand what we've been through, can't relate anything similar from their lives, and don't want to get involved because they don't know what to say." Sometimes they will offer trite Christain jargon hoping God will take it from there or worse, they might hammer us with portions of God's Word that support their personnal opinions about how everyone should be like them.

Thank God, our relationship with Him is personal and doesn't depend on other people. After all that I must say we attend a wounderful church - it's just filled with people who have much different experiences than ours. Fortunately, we choose who we want to be accountable to. Who do we trust? God and . . .

I find more support from our Point Man group. We're all on the same page and can read between the lines of what can't be voiced. It's a very nurtuing group and Christ is the center of all our conversations. We are from several different congregations. Jesus and what we have in common bind us together.
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Old 05-19-2005, 06:01 PM
Don Dodson Don Dodson is offline
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Re: Accountability: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Snowy Owl: I sometimes wonder what Christ must think about what human beings have done to His Body: the true-true one and only real Church started at Pentecost (Acts Ch 2). No denominations, no brand names, no "We're number 1," just different parts of One Body, One Resurrection, One Lord.

I pray you and your wife find supportive people to help you along the Way.

Don "Oboeman" Dodson
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