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Old 08-05-2005, 05:46 AM
Posts: n/a
Re: The spouses God gave us..

Hello from Cowboy Country!!

Larry and I ran into each other at an AA meeting on Christmas Eve 2002. We had attended high school together in the mid to late 80's but didn't run in the same crowd. He was a jock and ag student and I was into fast cars and fast boys..UGH!! That's a whole other story...

Anyway...our first date was Christmas night after another AA meeting. We went out for coffee at Denny's and talked about God for 3 hours! It was amazing. Our spiritual program suggests in our relationships that they should evolve in the following order...spiritual, mental, emotional, physical. Probably the only relationship that I have done that way and the investment has been AMAZING.

Larry and I both believe that w/out our higher power (whom we choose to call God) that we would not have the foundation needed to support our life today. PTSD has pretty much attempted to devastate our foundation but every time we think we are out of options God gives us another one. As long as we continue to seek His will and give Him the recognition of the miracles in our life we have much faith that our vows and commitment will continue to strengthen in our marriage.

I love my husband today for who he is..the whole man. Not the idea of who I think he is or should be or will be. I love him whole..I love him broken. One of the ways I have healed from the last debaucle caused by his PTSD was to write, funny how I am healing by writing about his experiences..God is good!


By Heather Rush

He came into his life

Innocent and naÔve

Motivated by dreams of better things

And the experiences that would take him there

Waking one day to realize

That his desire for success was a round trip ticket

To hell and back

Never to return complete

The boy was left behind in bars and on beaches

On roadways and in anguished cities

The man returns battered and beaten

He goes through the motions

Being the man he thought he should be.

A cold nightmare with a flashback chaser to take the edge off

A prisoner of his war and missing in action

He clings to every idea of love and happiness

Only to have it slip through his fingers

As painfully as the childís life slips away before his eyes

No power, no control, no choice

The homecoming

Though bittersweet and long overdue

Frightens the man

The love and home that waits for him

Is as foreign as the countries he once protected

Life for the man is painfully new

Life long scars will tempt the man to become

The prisoner of war and missing in action once again

However love, in not save him, will carry him

And the boy will be free within the man

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