PTSD and the military system

[ReconSGT_OIF]

I just wanted to probe everyone elses experiences that were diagnosed while they were still in the military. I was actually medically discharged for PTSD last year and had some interesting experiences from the chain of command in my unit. As I have discussed in other forums here, it devastated my career. I was directly taken out of a leadership position and the soldiers were shown that they didnt have to really listen to me or do what i asked... Perhaps people thought I was faking it because they didnt show symptoms..

I want to know if anyone else here has experienced anything like this on any level. I am under the belief that the military is trying to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to this growing problem.

[ReconSGT_OIF]

Got passed this link today. Very interesting stuff.
http://home.earthlink.net/~ptsd_discrimination/id14.html

[nate]

hey reconsgt, i know what you mean mine started when i got back. but the funny thing is it got worse when i got out. i have the panic attacks you know like, you think you are having a heart attack. yeah that crap sucks. what do you do to help keep yourself calm. i hope the military isn;t turning a blind eye cause a bunch of my buddies have the same thing. i don't know what to think.if you got any pointers please feel free to tell me some. i would greatly appreciate it. take it easy i'll stay in touch

[danausmc]

Nate,
Grab a couple of those buddies and get together at least once a week. Talk over where you are and what you are feeling. Its not easy, but you have to be able to talk to someone....if you feel strange about it...the internet is real impersonal and you can vent here or in any of the other forums.

There are guys here that have been in the same spot as you and some that have not even got to the point where you are yet. Biggest thing is to stay focused and remember where you are. When you feel that attack coming on, look around...you are home....some guys just self medicate and all that does is lead to another set of problems that you dont need.

You can call a friend , or one of us, or even just go for a walk...adrenaline is a major factor at work here. Think for a moment about going on a patrol.....the anticipation...even fear....the unknown factors..even if you did it a hundred times ...the adrenaline kicks in and makes you super alert...hypervigilant....and you are trusting other guys with your very life.....

FAST FORWARD to tonight....something you just did has made you flash back to that moment in the war zone....and the adrenaline has kicked in again....your brain thinks you are in the zone .....but you know you are not and that is where the battle lies right now......you get all wound up....you think you are defenseless....no weapon.....no secondary escape route...no flanking security....you actually think you are walking into an ambush....BUT NOTHING HAPPENS because you are here, not there... and your body has all this adrenaline rushing around and no where to go......and now you panic....you might want to make a list of what you were doing before the attack .....and what you thought about....the more you can keep this out in the open and not try and stuff it away.....you can begin to deal with it.....

Just take a walk or work out or something....but talk to someone who has either been there or another vet from another era....

S/F

[ReconSGT_OIF]

Nate, it has taken me a year since discharge to get where I am today. I know what you mean about it being actually worse since you got out... PTSD is not normally regressive... It's progressive. Some of the things I personally do are these: I talk to people who will listen. I chat online with other vets, and I share with my wife a good deal of info too. I am involved in a group at church called Celebrate Recovery... a Christ-centered 12 step program and we have a class for anger/depression. In this class I have 3 vietnam vets who have been there that I talk to quite a bit. Its ok to break down sometimes and unload. I believe it's healthy, actually. Because if you keep it inside it will consume you and bring you down further. Take it to the cross. I finally made the decision that I didnt want to let my symptoms of PTSD run my life... I was at a point that I was afraid to go out in public, I was irrational and angry at my kids, and I often exploded on people without a good reason. Yes sometimes I still slip, but these episodes are not as bad as before. I make a conscious effort every day to take on the day with God. Because I know I can't do it alone. It's not easy at all, dont get me wrong-the dreams and nightmares still come on a regular basis, panic attacks like a heart attack are still there too... But im not afraid of them anymore. I know PTSD isnt going to just GO AWAY, but its not going to decide what I do anymore.
Ok, time to get off my soap-box and let someone else talk.

[Abn_Rgr]

Good morning, it’s been awhile since I’ve chimed in, but I have some strong feelings on this one. I spent 12 years in the Army before I was asked to participate in an early retirement. My situation was a little different in the respect that after returning from Desert Storm I had some real uneasy feelings. Because the Army clicked for me and I seemed to easily excel, combined with the fact that it was all I knew, I chose to ignore my feelings and “drive on”. My alcohol consumption increased greatly, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, bar fights, and high-anxiety/ attacks became the norm.
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When I returned from combat I sucked up every school I could get. I went to <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Jump</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">School</st1:PlaceType>, <st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Ranger</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">School</st1:PlaceType>, and <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Sniper</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">School</st1:PlaceType></st1:place>, just to mention a few. I thought more school and “high speed training” might somehow give me my edge back.
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In 1996, it all finally came to a head when I got really drunk and cut both my wrists. I was found before I bled out and I was placed on the wacky ward on suicide watch. I still believe that because of my tabs, badges, and the time that had passed since the war, the Army refused to acknowledge that it was my experiences that broke me. I was ultimately reduced in grade and let go because of to much time in grade.
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It wasn’t for another 3 years, when a Vietnam Vet looked me square in the eyes and said “Son, you have a bad case of PTSD, and if you don’t get some help, you will die before your time.” It blew me away; I never considered anxiety was directly related to conscience and that my body chemistry was forever changed.
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Today, I am doing better. I have learned a lot, go to enormous amounts of counseling, and have accepted that, at least for now, I need to take all of my meds. Having said all of that, without finding God I did not stand a chance. The fact that the people I dealt with all shared God with me was no coincidence. On active duty God was always a consideration, but not a rule. It has been amazing to me how receptive combat veterans are to talking about our Father. The Lord bought my innocence back, He truly saved my life.

[Don Dodson]

Thanks, brothers, for sharing your feelings and experiences. I am so thankful God found each of you guys and you accepted His helping you unleash your powerful testimonies! I am also thankful He found me and has helped me find great helpers, like you guys!!!! PTSD seems to subside and lurk in the resesses of the mind, ready to pounce like the prowling lion model of Satan, himself (1 Peter 5:8). Remember, it is not flesh and blood we battle, but the father of lies himself trying to pull us under.

Don "Oboeman" Dodson
(former SGT/E-5, US Army, 4th Infantry Division HHC & Band DISCOM, Plieku and An Khe, Vietnam, September 9, 1969 - September 9, 1970)

[ReconSGT_OIF]

Well, how is everyone now that thanksgiving is over with and the race for the good toys at walmart has officially begun? I have been down for a bit for my surgery, but now I can type again.:dancing: :dancing: :dancing: Well, soon I hope to be able to think clear enough to start a new thread. Have a happy holiday season!