The spouses God gave us..

[EmandNsmom]

Hi there! Marc and I are apart of married couples sunday school class at our church and have just started a study on the passionate marriage. With the hussle and busyness of the family, couples often forget to spend that alone time with their spouse, weather it be discussing days events over a cup O'Joe and a piece of pie, or having a date night. So I thought I would start a discussion that provides a little food for thought. :superhapp Figured I'd base it off what we're learning in sunday school! happysmile

Question:
1)What did you and your sweetie do on your first date? What did you do, where'd you go, and how'd you feel?

Marc and I were only teens when we met, but we went to see,"Super Mario Brothers" The movie! One of the worst movies we've had the unfortunate experience of paying full price for! We also went out for pizza!

Just some food for thought. What kinds of things to you do now with your spouse that you didn't when you were dating.. How long has it been since you had a date night? Remember a date doesn't have to cost anything. A stroll in the park, a picnic at the lake, or a walk around the block.. Marc and I actually enjoy taking the kids to the park. We get a chance to be together and are able to talk while the kids play. Pretty cool.

Just my 2centswort ,
have a blessed day!
Stephanie

[EmandNsmom]

By the Way! Focus on the Family has some great stuff!

[Shawn Powell]

Marc and Steph,

Let me just say how much I admire you guys for jumping right in... continuing to minister to folks despite what you've experienced. Man... I wish I had the intestinal fortitude to do that.

I have a tendency to crawl into a hole for a season and just stay away from people... wife and kids excepted. When I'm up, I'm up and when I'm down... there's no one lower...!

Judging from the things you and Marc are sharing on this site, I would say you guys are operating in the capacity of 'wounded healers.' You guys indentify the problem, seek God, get Godly counsel and continue to minister... Rock On, mis amigos.

Kathleen and I had our first date in 1983. She was still in high school and I was "physically present" at a local community college. We took a walk in the park... and four boys and 22 years later... here we are....

Shawn.

[EmandNsmom]

Thanks for the positive feedback. I guess I figured that since either PTSD, life in the military, or life in general tends to affect our relationships, it may be a good idea to focus on them. Not that I'm saying we all don't already. I know I need this stuff too. BTW, How old are your kids Shawn? :superhapp
You and your sweetie have been married for 22 years huh!? wow that is Awesome.. you guys need to pat yourselves on the back. :superhapp :dancing:
Marc and I have only been married 9 years, but it feels like we've been married longer.. I think the military had something to do with that.
BTW! Does your wife take part in the site at all?
Need to scoot for now!
As my sweetie's quote says,"I'm happy and I know it...
Clap Clap!" :dancing:

Over and abundantly blessed in Christ!
Stephanie

[Trooper]

Crest Of The Military Wife
The "Crest of the Military Wife" recognizes the unique contributions of the Military Wife to the strength and success of our Armed Forces. Throughout our long and glorious history, the wives of freedom's defenders have made sacrifices, bravely faced daunting challenges, dealt with uncertainties, and endured hardships which have forged them into a single, elite sorority, unique in strength, honor, integrity, and patriotism. The time-honored tradition of selfless service by these "behind-the-scenes" champions of liberty has too often gone unrecognized.

[Don Dodson]

Great thread!!! I am thankful that I was single when I was in the Army. (That way I had a couple of young ladies writing to me :-) The military and veteran spouses and families certainly are an underserved population. As terrible as it is for the warrior who goes off to war and comes back a different person, I think it must be worse for those who love him or her. At least we know what dented our brains. For the secondary casualties they often blame themselves for not being able to understand or endure the changed returnee.

God brought Kathi and I together through the pastor of the church in which we grew up. We didn't know each other then, and met via letters while I was attending Northwest Christian College (NCC) and Kathi was considering attending the next year. What great letters!

Our first date really wasn't a date. We met while I was home for summer vacation in 1972. The Pastor, another NCC student and I went over to her little house after church, sort of to talk up NCC. While I was there I noticed her lawn was all overgrown and she said something about the landlord being away. On my next day off I drove over with my Dad's old push mower and mowed her lawn, figuring she was at work. She caught me when she came home for lunch and I gave her a ride 3 blocks back to her office.

Although she didn't experience me in the military, she has certainly seen the worst of me since! God has richly blessed us and she is my closest friend and primary therapist. That summer of 1972 we decided it would be stupid for her to live in the dorm while I lived "off post" in an apartment, so we married that September. We firmly believed we were the ones God chose for each other, and still do.

I hope many spouses will visit here and find help and blessings.

Don Dodson, Outpost Leader
PointManMinLaMesa@NorthernTrail.net

[EmandNsmom]

Good evening everyone! I have been out of it for a few days now. We came home after church yesterday, had lunch, then I had either a gull bladder attack, or I may have a kidney infection. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you all how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband. God really gives his kids the best! :superhapp I went to bed around 6:30 last night.. and was miserable all night long. I woke up marc a few times for prayer and for comfort.. as I sat there crying. He didn't complain once.. Also, He took the day off,(something he never could do while he was still in the Army), to take care of me and the kids. I am a blessed woman and know I need to tell him that a whole lot more. I realize that I, as I am sure alot of other people do, tend to get irritated at my spouse alot, and tend to forget about all the great things about him, and the wonderfully great things he does for me. So I ask this question: What great things has your spouse done for you? How could you show your spouse more appreciation? By telling them, actions, candy, flowers, diamond rings... (OOPS! didn't mean to say the last 3 out loud!) See there I go again, thinking like a woman! lol :cheeky: Just some more food for thought.

Have a wonderfully blessed and highly favored day!
Steph :dancing:

[EmandNsmom]

Hey Trooper! I really like that crest! Where'd you find that! :D Have a blessed evening.
Steph

[kmwmom]

Hi Everyone - thought I'd answer Stephanie's 1st question: I met Rich at a party he was having. I went to the party with a guy I had known and dated for a few years. And ended up talking with Rich all evening. He ended up taking me home that night and we've been together ever since. (and we're still friends with the guy who took me to the party) :superhapp This year we celebrated 37 years married. We fish together and snowmobile together. He suprises me with flowers now and then. I take care of him and love him and he does the same for me. What more can we ask?

coffees ready
Karen

[ILOVEMYVET]

Hello from Cowboy Country!! http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_11_61.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm006YYUS)

Larry and I ran into each other at an AA meeting on Christmas Eve 2002. We had attended high school together in the mid to late 80's but didn't run in the same crowd. He was a jock and ag student and I was into fast cars and fast boys..UGH!! That's a whole other story...

Anyway...our first date was Christmas night after another AA meeting. We went out for coffee at Denny's and talked about God for 3 hours! It was amazing. Our spiritual program suggests in our relationships that they should evolve in the following order...spiritual, mental, emotional, physical. Probably the only relationship that I have done that way and the investment has been AMAZING.

Larry and I both believe that w/out our higher power (whom we choose to call God) that we would not have the foundation needed to support our life today. PTSD has pretty much attempted to devastate our foundation but every time we think we are out of options God gives us another one. As long as we continue to seek His will and give Him the recognition of the miracles in our life we have much faith that our vows and commitment will continue to strengthen in our marriage.

I love my husband today for who he is..the whole man. Not the idea of who I think he is or should be or will be. I love him whole..I love him broken. One of the ways I have healed from the last debaucle caused by his PTSD was to write, funny how I am healing by writing about his experiences..God is good!

My POW is MIA<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

By Heather Rush<o:p></o:p>

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He came into his life<o:p></o:p>

Innocent and naïve<o:p></o:p>

Motivated by dreams of better things <o:p></o:p>

And the experiences that would take him there<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

Waking one day to realize<o:p></o:p>

That his desire for success was a round trip ticket<o:p></o:p>

To hell and back<o:p></o:p>

Never to return complete<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

The boy was left behind in bars and on beaches<o:p></o:p>

On roadways and in anguished cities<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

The man returns battered and beaten<o:p></o:p>

He goes through the motions<o:p></o:p>

Being the man he thought he should be.<o:p></o:p>

A cold nightmare with a flashback chaser to take the edge off<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

A prisoner of his war and missing in action<o:p></o:p>

He clings to every idea of love and happiness<o:p></o:p>

Only to have it slip through his fingers<o:p></o:p>

As painfully as the child’s life slips away before his eyes<o:p></o:p>

No power, no control, no choice<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

The homecoming<o:p></o:p>

Though bittersweet and long overdue<o:p></o:p>

Frightens the man<o:p></o:p>

The love and home that waits for him <o:p></o:p>

Is as foreign as the countries he once protected<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

Life for the man is painfully new<o:p></o:p>

Life long scars will tempt the man to become<o:p></o:p>

The prisoner of war and missing in action once again<o:p></o:p>

However love, in not save him, will carry him<o:p></o:p>

And the boy will be free within the man<o:p></o:p>

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[EmandNsmom]

HI Heather! I really like what your wrote. It amazes me the way God works. Marc has been a Godsend to me! We have been through so much in the time we've been together. My dad died in '94 from a stroke(I was 17), shortly after my mother abandoned me, I was supporting myself barely, and Marc helped me pay the bills even though he was still living at home, in 2001 I contracted Bacterial Meningitis and am still having some problems from that.
In good times and bad, sickness and in health! It hasn't been all perfect by any means, but it's ok.. :superhapp God is Good and I see what he brought Marc and I through! If it was all perfect, wouldn't appreciate it!

Stephanie

[Trooper]

REMEMBER, Above all else!

1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4GVN

[Chuck]

Almost 47 years ago I met a young lady at the USO in San Francisco. I was then a Sgt in the U.S. Marine Corps. We had a cup of coffee together and a lot of small talk that evening. I really thought nothing of it.. until I met her again at the Y.M.C.A. It was a dance ... She happened to be there with another Marine (as his date). Some months later that Marine was discharged and returned to Ohio. As it turned out I started dating that young lady.. and about 1 1/2 years later we were married.

45 years later she is the mother of my two daughters and grandmother to my four grand daughters. Behind every man is a better woman.. Believe it or not .. I think this to be very true.

My wife helped me complete my college and was there to pin on my gold bars when I was commissioned as a Mustang 2ndLt. For the next 14 years of my active duty she was always there.. with that little helping hand.. As I went up in rank she would invite other members in my unit and their families to our home for dinners and off duty outings.. She wanted everyone to know that we where human and friendy and that I was not the bad guy officers are made out to be.

Like a good military wife .. she knew when to help and when to stay in the background.. To this day she loves going to the Marine Corps Ball every year in San Francisco. We already have our tickets for this year .. well in advance.

I owe my career and life to my wife... Mary Lou...God Bless her..