Need for lots of quiet and solitude

[snowyowl]

I find I need quiet and solitude to recharge my batteries and lots of it. I find being around people even being with my wife is exhausting. Been married for 26 years and been through alot together and raised one son.
Pretty much was an outcast growing up. Honorable Discharge Army and Air Force Reserve. Been very law abiding.
If I had my druthers about it I wouldn't have anything to do with society and most people. I've seen and experienced so much treachery in human relationships, I know that isn't God's plan for mankind and breaks his heart.
I guess quiet and solitude is/was more stable than experiencing the lies, deceit, treachery, the storms of relationships and found the quiet and solitude more preferable for sanity's sake.
Would like input from others though.

[danausmc]

I find I need quiet and solitude to recharge my batteries and lots of it. I find being around people even being with my wife is exhausting. Been married for 26 years and been through alot together and raised one son.
Pretty much was an outcast growing up. Honorable Discharge Army and Air Force Reserve. Been very law abiding.
If I had my druthers about it I wouldn't have anything to do with society and most people. I've seen and experienced so much treachery in human relationships, I know that isn't God's plan for mankind and breaks his heart.
I guess quiet and solitude is/was more stable than experiencing the lies, deceit, treachery, the storms of relationships and found the quiet and solitude more preferable for sanity's sake.
Would like input from others though.

Hey Owl....good to see you around. How are you doing health wise??

Solitude.....if it was good enough for Jesus Christ...its good enough for me. Bible says Jesus went apart from his disciples ....on more than one ocaision....to pray and seek solitude.

Everyone needs it....but only for a time...a season...I dont believe God made you to live alone....what would be the purpose?? recharge the batteries as it were....
thats my thinking right now...

[snowyowl]

This month has been screwy A+++. Gotta to deal with some stuff from '64-'65, life got flushed down the toilet then and I believe I was going to replicate some of those events like leaving my wife and not look back.
Things are looking better at this time!

[danausmc]

This month has been screwy A+++. Gotta to deal with some stuff from '64-'65, life got flushed down the toilet then and I believe I was going to replicate some of those events like leaving my wife and not look back.
Things are looking better at this time!


hey Brother, I have some big anniversary dates in October and it just seems to hang on and sneak up on me. You need to be really diligent, even after all these years. I am happy to hear that all is looking up right now.....
Dana

[fortunato]

i can really relate to the need of solitude , i spent two years walking in the woods, from georgia to vermont then in costa rica, i find the woods a giant chapel where the heavens declare the glory of god, i tried working for a while but as usual burnt all bridges, am currently in hawaii hiking the bush and plan to leave on an xtended 6 month journey back in the woods as soon as weather permits, probaly bac to the applachian trail, i try to witness out there as people are open without the distractions of this world and hiking in the bush is better than hiding in my hooch , at least i am moving forward , if any vet would like to join me id lov to have my fellow vets with me watching my bac , all the best

fortunato , ex marine 1/3/3 in country 9/68-9/69

[Reconvic]

First and formost I want to wish all a Happy Holiday. This to has been a wrong year for me also. My health is still holding, but losing my wife and my family is so seperated it is a new experiance. I know only thru Gods help can I make it at times. Brothers hang in there and may God bless you all.
S.F. Vic









hey Brother, I have some big anniversary dates in October and it just seems to hang on and sneak up on me. You need to be really diligent, even after all these years. I am happy to hear that all is looking up right now.....
Dana

[chapmick]

Yo Owl,
I get real quiet in December too. My anniversary week is Dec. 3 to the 13th. Operation Meade River(NAM 68), where I lost everyone, including my memory. So I just go underground in December and pray.
The burden of value with which we are at present loading interpersonal relationships is too heavy for those fragile craft to carry. Our expectation that satisfying intimate realtionships SHOULD, ideally, provide happiness and that, if they do not, there must be something wrong with those relationships, seems to be exaggerated and the source of un-needed anxiety.
Love and friendship are, of course, an important part of what makes life worthwhile. But theyare not the only source of happiness. Moreover, human beings change, thank God, and develop as life goes on. Thanks to PMIM!
Lots of ordinary interests, and the majority of creative pursuits involving real originality continue without involving ongoing relationships. It seems to me that what goes on in the soul and the psyche of the human being is as important as what happens in his/her interactions with others. As for myself, the more time I am alone- the more at peace I am when in dialogue with others, be it my wife, children or the work of Point Man. True Love emanates from a core of silence and solitude.
We are constantly seeking to discover ourselves and to remodel our identity or validate it. If you do not believe this, try to go an entire day with not one thought of SELF. Or for giggles, do the opposite, go the whole day, and only think of yourself. See what happens at the end- and post it here!
The significant mmoments where we attain new insight, or make a new discovery, gain closure, or start anew, are chiefly the moments, if not invaribly those in which we are alone, and the EGO is mute.
EGO= Easing God Out. When we are quiet and alone,the door is open for the Holy Spirit.
Merry Christmas to all who visit here,
Mike and Lydia

[snowyowl]

My Victor Charlies rose their ugly heads earlier this month. So far it was only a "birthday/Christmas card" from them. Staying away from said Victor Charlies. I don't want them in my life...ever. They haven't changed one bit. Not one whit of regret for what they'd done to my wife...since birth.
Too many Christmases were spent at work so family wouldn't have to be with her parents and the time we did have with them was convoluted.
Hopefully Tet will be quiet and no they're not oriental.

[Reconvic]

Snowyow, I hear what you mean before I became 100% disabilbed, I also spent 34 years married and supporting 3 kids on my own I worked alot also.
Just take one day at a time. This site has helped me and hope it will you. I am one of those people almost fearing to leave my house, but with GODS help
I will overcome this.
S.F. Vic :bandit:







My Victor Charlies rose their ugly heads earlier this month. So far it was only a "birthday/Christmas card" from them. Staying away from said Victor Charlies. I don't want them in my life...ever. They haven't changed one bit. Not one whit of regret for what they'd done to my wife...since birth.
Too many Christmases were spent at work so family wouldn't have to be with her parents and the time we did have with them was convoluted.
Hopefully Tet will be quiet and no they're not oriental.

[Trooper]

Snowyowl

I know well what your feeling. What helps me is when Victor Charles pops his head out of a spider hole, I love introducing to my Friend Jesus Christ.

IF GOD IS FOR YOU WHO CAN BE AGAINST YOU!

[snowyowl]

They've been in the preachin' n doubledealing biz longer than I can count.

[snowyowl]

Come to think of it I do have a Vietnam anniversary coming up on April 30th.
In April 1975 we were sent to Ft. Bliss for Operation Gallant Shield for the month. The day we got back from Texas I just decided to help with the Red Cross not knowing what had happened in Nam. The Director and her daughter told me South Vietnam had been overrun and Vietnamese orphans were coming in the hundreds enroute to McChord AFB as she spoke. So after a rather full day between Texas and getting back to Ft. Lewis, I immedately volunteered to go to North Ft. Lewis to the staging area hauling supplies and whatever else a GoFor could do to help. So when I wasn't on duty I was over at the staging area helping out for the month of May 1975. And yes it was very enlightening. One incident happened on a Saturday. The WA National Guard was doing M-16 annual qualification just up the road close to where we were--without a clue what was down the road--kids running pell mell, screaming, looking for any cover inside the old WW2 barracks thinking the NVA was coming in for the kill. It took awhile to settle the kids down after we had the M-16 annual qualifications cancelled and ceasefire emplaced. THAT LEFT AN IMPRESSION ON ME AS TO WHAT HAPPENED OVER THERE.
So that's my involvement in the Vietnam War being on active duty.
Guys thanks for what you did over there. My own stepfather was there '62-'64 on the C-123's.

[Don Dodson]

I confess to you that I often keep very busy in order to keep from periods of quiet and solitude. Hyper-business also keeps my sadness and grief snuffed out. I think it is my "old nature" trying to drown out the Holy Spirit. This thread reminded me of the 23rd Psalm, verse 2: "He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul." How can I expect to hear God if I keep my brain filled with racket? It is truly in the times of quiet prayer and Bible reading His Spirit can minister to us.

Brother Snowyowl, many of us will grieve April 30, 2005. I remember feeling that it was all in vain, the politicians had won, the communists had won, our 58,000+ brothers (and 7 sisters) were flushed for no purpose. But what "they" meant for evil, God meant for good! For the next 30 years, Vietnam changed the way the United States uses its Marines, soldiers, sailors and Air Force: fight to win, overwhelm and deploy sufficient resources to crush the enemy. (Seems like that lesson has now been forgotton ;-) It taught the Soviet Union and the Communist Chinese they could not win man-for-man, battle-for-battle. So they did not re-invade Korea, didn't invade South America, and shifted to the media and politicians. But in the end, the American war in Vietnam allowed hundreds of thousands of Vietnamese to escape and start new lives; helped bring the Soviet empire down, shifted American foreign policy to use American lives to win, not "police." Finally, I no longer believe the media when they way, "Vietnam was the first war America lost." We did not lose the war! The corrupt self-serving elitist government of South Vietnam lost the war, two years after the U.S. bailed out. Whew ... I need to get back to some quiet and solitude.

WELCOME HOME!

Don "Oboeman" Dodson
Vietnam 9 Sep 1969 - 9 Sep 1970

[snowyowl]

Today I've been enjoying the antics of our four cats, stealing pens and pencils, chasing each other racing around at 100 mph and turning on a dime in midair, grooming themselves and each other. Having a intact family of four cats (Father, mother, two boys) has been healing in its own right.
Now I'm gonna go in the backyard with my MtnMan billy (Oversized cup for tea, coffee, soup, etc.) make some Irish Breakfast tea over a little fire.
Read John 17 and Psalm 136 today's reading of my own choosing for the day.
Today is a good day in the Lord. :dancing:

[ajusmc]

Don in some respect I'm the opposite, like the quiet but I'll sit here for hours at a time working things for other folks. Just keeping my mind busy and it keeps my mind from drifting to other things.

[Pointman69]

I'm still working so I often feel the need (maybe compultion) for quiet time. When I can, I'll spend a whole weekend absorbed in physcological "escape." I've often thought this might be related to the times we came in from the jungle to the safety of a fire support base. It was a sancuary, a time of relatively little danger. We worked hard to escape anything that might reminded us of what lay ahead the next time we had to go out.

There seems to be parallels in my mind between working and vegitating on the weekends, similar to walking through the dangers of the jungle and spending those few precious days in the safety of a fire support base.

It's not a healthy or productive way of living life, but it's a pattern that's hard to break.

Any thoughts?

[Stickthrower]

Pointman69,
After your post I started thinking about it, and you know what? I seem to need "Stand down time" myself when I have been under stress for a situation that I feel is a threat to myself/family. Now it is starting to make sense even to a knot head like me.

Since I became unemployed due to "Major PTSD and Severe Depression" per my dept. shrink I have been under a lot of stress what with filing a VA Claim, filing a medical retirement claim, attempting to file for unemployment (which was denied today as I was "unable to work", as well as living with the uncertenatity of life right now, I have been attempting/desiring to have down time in a safe place. Just did not make the connection myself until reading your post.

I noticed that here lately I don't want to leave the house, can't stand to be in a store or other place that is crowded, or much less be required to be in a confrontational situation that comes about with just day to day living.

For example today I had to go to the power company over an overcharge of $ 253.00 for my monthly power bill when it is normally only $80.00. I was terrified to leave the house, much less tell my wife about the bill. I knew I had done nothing wrong, but the fear was still there. I did manage to go to the company & explain the problem, however had someone said "BOO" I would have freaked! I was so bad the lady asked me if I was ok as I seemed "Dazed" or disorientated. Little did she know how freaked I really was. I can't seem to be able to explain my emotions to my wife, or even my Therapist. I just feel like I am going crazy and don't know what is happening to me. Sometimes as I just feel total terror about being out in the public.

[Pointman69]

Stickthrower - as far as I know, which is what I hear from others, your discription of your emotional state is shared by many. I don't know how people make it without knowing Christ. He's all I have to hang on to sometimes. May He hide you under His wing, may He put you in the cleft of the rock where you are safe.

[Stickthrower]

Pointman,

I know what you mean about knowing the Lord. He is my only salvation & I pray continually for his strength & support in my life. Wtihout his love & understanding I would have nothing. My daily news just seems to be on a downhill spiral here lately. I just wait for the next mortar round to strike & hope and pray the Lord is there to catch me! My faith in the Lord is my only lifesaver.
Frank

[Pointman69]

Stickthrower - I know you know, but we can encourage one another. He sees what is coming into your life tomorrow and He will turn all things for your good because you love Him and are called acording to His purpose. You wouldn't be struggling if you didn't love Him and He called you (for His purpose) before you turned to Him. His thoughts toward you are of peace, let it be created in you. His grace and mercies are new everyday.

Is there anything you need help with?

[Stickthrower]

Pointman69,

Thanks. I'm doing ok, I guess, just have been having what was termed by someone else as "PTSD Days" here lately. Just when I think it can't get any worse, I get shown that yes it can. Even the church told me last Monday that I can worship there and they are happy to have me, however I can't become a member again since I have been divorced (Old German Baptist Brethern). I am forgiven, they will do anything to help me day or night, I just can't be a card carrying member again. Oh well, been there, done that, and got the t-shirt!

Thanks for being there. The Lord, people in Pointman, and church are my only real support. The so called expert Head Doctors don't have a clue and dealing with the system is getting me down.

[Pointman69]

Frank - You mentioned that dealing with the system is getting you down. Remember, the "system" is the best the world can do - you are motivated by a differant reality where good actually does overcome evil. The world system can not do things the way we would like until Jesus comes again.

[Stickthrower]

Thanks Pointman, like you said I still believe good will overcome evil. It just gets me down sometimes. Obviously the systems priorities and mine are not the same. I guess feeding my family, etc does not take presidence over their lack of caring about helping people by just doing their job, nothing extra, just doing what they get paid for. Can you imagine how a war would be fought by people like that. Oh, thats right we have been there and done that, fought a war in which no one cared about the participants! I guess reality has just come home.

Thanks Brother.

[Pointman69]

Hang in there Frank. After years of bitterness and cynicism God told me, "What do you expect? Humanity is trying to function without Me, this is the best they can do." Come back Lord Jesus - please!

[Don Dodson]

Great to know that Jesus, Himself, wouldn't be able to be a "card carrying member" of many so called Christian churches! Remember, when you are trekking through the valley of the shadow of death (e.g. going through the bad times), "don't pitch a tent!" Keep on moving toward God. You are in my prayers.

Don "Oboeman" Dodson
DodsonOboeVet@NorthernTrail.net

[Trooper]

Don

I agree about keeping moving. Unless you keep going it's way too easy for you to get stuck in the mud.