Iraqi Freedom vets/families???

[EmandNsmom]

Hi there! I'm pretty much new to this site. My husband is an Iraqi freedom vet.. was deployed from march 16th 2003 til november 2003. I'm trying to find others whose spouses have been over there. My husband was diagnosed with ptsd as a result of his deployment. I have done research about ptsd.. causes, symptoms, effects on vet/family, but could never find the one thing that I was looking for. I want to know what God says about this, how to handle it his way. I am looking for support for him as well from other christian men who are dealing with this or others that could mentor him in some way. I have encouraged him to join this site as well, but he will do it in his own time I think. Anything anyone would add would be a blessing.

Stephanie


:cart127:

[danausmc]

Originally posted by EmandNsmom
Hi there! I'm pretty much new to this site. My husband is an Iraqi freedom vet.. was deployed from march 16th 2003 til november 2003. I'm trying to find others whose spouses have been over there. My husband was diagnosed with ptsd as a result of his deployment. I have done research about ptsd.. causes, symptoms, effects on vet/family, but could never find the one thing that I was looking for. I want to know what God says about this, how to handle it his way. I am looking for support for him as well from other christian men who are dealing with this or others that could mentor him in some way. I have encouraged him to join this site as well, but he will do it in his own time I think. Anything anyone would add would be a blessing.

Stephanie


:cart127:


Stephanie,
Check out the Reveille Forum for some information that deals with your questions.
Dana

[Shawn Powell]

Tell your hubby welcome home! I just got back myself from my second tour in SWA. First time was 1990-91 with 101st ABN, most recently in 2003 with a Guard unit out of Oregon.

It's taken me 14 years to come to terms with PTSD... OIF was the straw that broke the camel's back.

God Bless you and your warrior... you guys share your heart(s) here, okay? Jesus is faithful, Steph... He is our Healer and our Peace!

Shawn.:angel_fly

[EmandNsmom]

HI Shawn! Marc said welcome home to you as well!:D Thank you for the words of encouragement! :) I know Jesus is faithful.. :) I am the daughter of an alcoholic vietnam vet.. So many things have happened to me in my life for me not to believe it. lol :) Keep us in yoiur prayers. When did you return home?
I have been encouraging marc to start posting.. or something but I realize it has to all be him.. right.. I don't want to put anything.
Maybe he will sometime soon. He is a great guy!
Thanx for the support and prayers!

IN Chrst,
Stephanie:skismile:

[Shawn Powell]

Marc and Stephanie,

Just to give you a head's up:

I returned from the Gulf the first time in May of 1991. In late 1992 I began struggling with bouts of anger. I've always been rather animated my whole life, but at this point my fuse was VERY short. I could conflagrate into a rage almost instantly. Then depression would creep in and I would begin a struggle with that. In 1995-96, I began noticing physical problems. Headaches, severe abdominal/ bowel problems, sleeplessness to name a few. All of these laced with the emotionally draining bouts of anger, depression, anxiety, didn't trust a whole lot of people (mostly civilians), hopelessness... and on and on.

I want to let you two know you are safe here. There are wounded healers within these posts. Soldiers, Marines, Sailors and Airmen that have been there and done that. They may not respond all the time, but they read and they pray. I welcome any opportunity to correspond with you guys... just know that there is a bond here, okay? (Marc, take your time bro... ain't no rush.)

I rotated home early in August for emergency leave. My wife Kathleen was diagnosed with melanoma cancer... God is good, though. The docs removed a four-inch chunk out of her right arm and got the affected area. She (WE) go back every 4-5 months for complete check ups. Her folks passed from cancer, so we gotta be aggressive with it. Such is the case, my second tour was cut short.

In 90-91 we stopped about 150 miles SE of Baghdad and NE of As Salman airfield, if you got a map. In 03 our AO was in the south with the Brits... mostly Basra and As Zubayr. Sent two companies vic Baghdad for MSR security later on.

Hell Marc, I'm just glad you're back. Thank you for your service. Stephanie, my wife Kath is well aquainted with absences... thank you for your sacrifice. Not every woman can be an army wife, hooah?

God Bless,

Shawn. :cross_glo

[EmandNsmom]

Hi there! Thank you once again for your reply. It's a blessing to know that there are other people out there going through or have gone through the same thing you are right now. YOu and your wife are a blessing. Do ya'll have any kids? I would love to chat with your wife sometime to hear what she went through here at home.. From what it sounds like, she's been through alot herself. Did I mention we have 3 kids ages Emily 6, Nicholas 2 1/2, and Abigale Grace is almost 1. I would love to correspond with ya'll and I will be showing Marc this post sometime after he returns home. I believe that God has brought this site to us and do believe that Ft. Sill needs to have a ministry like this here. I talked to the lady at church that heads up our military wives group and told her about this site and how Mr. Daily would like to come talk to our church.. I am praying that she will see the ministry tool that God is giving us. She says she has a chaplain comming in, but I told her that I am sure alot of vets would want to hear from someone who has been there, and has been through the same struggles and how God brought them and is bringing them through it. I told Marc that I told her that.. and he said that I was right, and he didn't want to even hear it from someone who has never even been there. My feelings are this, it's one thing to have a lot of head knowlege, but it's the heart knowledge and our testimonies of our life experience that I believe God uses for his glory.
Well I should be getting back to work.. house work.. never ends.. lol Tell your wife hello, (even though I don't know her), and thanks to you guys for being a blessing to us.
Have a wonderful and blessed day in him!

In Christ,
Stephanie

opps + :cross_glo = happysmile superhappy :funny:

[danausmc]

About a couple things posted.
Stephanie, one thing I have seen from the start, and that is since 1969 when I got home from Vietnam is this,
your husband is dead right with his comment that he will not even listen to someone unless they have been there.
I always wondered how someone could do marriage counselling if they never had been married.
I once saw a guy that opend up a store front and called himself Pointman Ministries. was not part of us, but like Jesus said, if they be for us, they wont soon turn against us. But the opposite happened. This guy was a wannabee and figured this was his ticket. The scripture talks about this phenomenon too. Remeber the seven sons of Sciva in the Acts? We know Jesus, and we know Paul, but who are you? and then the demons proceeded to beat the snot out them. Works the same way here too.
This same storefront guy was confronted by a hurting Veteran and was lucky not to get a beating. Guy could not figure out what was happening. Word quickly got around and he closed shop because no one came out.

You are just as qualified to lead a support group for other wives. You will be suprised to find how many have the same issues. you have Jesus.

Dont try and analyze this problem too much and miss the solution.

Like Shawn says, you are safe here. Most times it takes some time for the ones who will respond, to formulate what they feel is appropriate. We are here to buid up and not tear down, so a lot of thought is put into these posts.

Remember we have folks from around the world posting now and the time zones make it difficult to "chat" in real time.

I think we can share "this is where I was, this is where I am , and this is how I got where I am now."
Heart knowledge., is not always the same as head knowledge.

I will be back on tomorrow around 8:00 PM after work and will have some real time to think over your posts.
A lot is going on in my head right now.
Dana

[danausmc]

It has taken me a long time to respond to your posts and I am not sure why.

I think it has to do with my recollections of what happened to me so many years ago.

PTSD was not some common buzz word like it is today. So no one knew what the problem was or how to fix it.
I just know at age nineteen, I was light years older than my contemporaries that stayed behind. Nothing was the same. Looked the same but not like I remembered. Did not get close to anyone. Worked all day, drank all night, and then fight your way out of the bars, crash, take a shower and head to work and start over.

Did not know the body was craving that adrenaline rush that the constant fear of death brought about.

Everything happened in slow motion. Saw everyday things in life and death consequences. Noises would see me jumping over check out counters at the store because it sounded like a rocket attack.

Like all my friends, bought the fastest car I could afford.
Chargers, Hemi Road Runners, 454 and 427 Corvettes, you name it, someone I ran with had one. I got caught by the Sherriff at 140 mph...death wish?
Dont think so.

Had no one to talk to except my Vet friends from high school and all we did was drink and fight. Our answer was "suck it up, you're behind," and then all ya had was a headache.

Who knew that this was a natural extension of an unatural event and trauma? Not me for sure, so I just went to work, met my wife at a party, kept up with the bar fights and running and finally got married.

If I only knew that Jesus was real and did not abandon me and the others 14,000 miles away in the muck of Vietnam, maybe it would have been different.

We all left part of ourselves there. Just like your Marc has left part of himself in Iraq.

When we came home, at least from my experience, the Church turned its back on the returning Veterans.
I got a letter from my boyhood church telling me if I did not attend communion or send a donation, I was history at the Church. Needless to say I got the BOOT!!

Three years later, my daughter was nearly killed and my wife attended a Church where a Pastor we met in the intensive care was the Pastor. I did not go. I said ALL Church and church members were hippocrites and liars or worse and there was in fact no God.

Well she talked me into attending one Sunday and the Pastor addressed every statement I ever made about Church. It dawned on me that my attitude was what was holding me back, not God.

Then the following week, the Church came up with a plan to adopt a Vietnamese "Boat" family and put them up in an upscale neighborhood until they could get on their feet. Started haveing real issues then. They got better treatment and recognition than the Vets thast were in the Church.

If the Church had recognized the need for veterans to have a NON threatening place for Vets to come and share their stories with each other, run by other Vets, I believe things would be different. You could talk out your issues and pray and gets Gods direction.

There is no magic formula to this. It is an ongoing process and you have to work on it every day.

You two really need to communicate with each other.
I dont know any Vets that like a suprise anything. Keep talking to one another. Sometimes you need a little space, but dont stay apart for too long either.

In this day and age it is too easy to just quit and give up on each other. Get some support together for both of you...if you get in a group that only tears down their husbands, get out of that group. It wont help you.
Make a new commitment to one another, and then live it.

This is a hard task, but you are both more than overcomers.

And by the way, you have wonderful looking kids.

Thanks Marc for stepping up and serving our Country.
Welcome Home.

[Shawn Powell]

Marc and Stephanie,

I think it's important to note that you'll be dealing with this for life. That's something that the christian "culture" does not want to hear. If you're going to be part of the organized american church, leave your problems and hang-ups in the parking lot because image is everything, baby.

Your soldier needs to hear from a combat veteran... he will respond to what he has to say. The best counselors for recovering drug users and alcoholics are recovering drug users and alcoholics... not some yayhoo who knows all of the christian cliches. The best counselor for a warrior who bears in his body and spirit the wounds suffered in the defense of his country, is a warrior who bears in his body and spirit the wounds suffered in the defense of his country.

From my experience, and I believe I am the young buck in this group, healing begins with the grace and mercy of the Lord Jesus and being around brothers who have "been there, done that". THEIR counsel is invaluable. THEIR guidance is greatly welcomed. THEIR reprimands are fueled by love and life experience. I know that God puts people in your life like that for a reason.

Again Marc, take your time in posting bro. When you want to, we'll visit. I've referred to Iraq in a previous post as "My Gesthemene." I have grieved, wept, struggled with anger and depression, shaken my fists at God and turned my back for a long time on the american church. You and me, we were in the sandbox together, man. I've never seen you, but we got a bond here bro. The Lord saw this coming before the foundations of the world. Anyway... I'm on your flank, baby boy... standing by to stand by, hooah?

Shawn.:angel_fly :angel_fly

[BORNAGAINVET]

My name is Jeff Dodge. Shawn mentioned this thread and I hope you don’t mind my jumping in.
I joined the Army in 1984, and spent my first two years of active duty on the DMZ in South Korea. I experienced real-world missions first hand, and got a small taste of fire-fights during my time there. I left the service after about seven months at Fort Ord, CA. Back on the street, I struggled for about a year and decided to return to active duty.

In 1988, I returned to active duty and proceeded on to Germany. My primary MOS was 11C and I was assigned to 1AD, 2nd BDE, 1-35th AR. I had a real-world mission in Germany, and as a result, I watched Iraq invade Kuwait on CNN, usually sitting on my bunk with a beer in my hand. I never imagined that the wall would fall in Berlin, and overnight peace treaties would be signed freeing up my unit to deploy elsewhere. 8 days prior to returning to the states on Christmas leave, I learned from General Powell, on CNN, that my unit would be deploying to Saudi to participate in a possible ground war to liberate Kuwait. Approximately 20 days later, I was in the middle of the desert with no clue as to my location.

Desert Storm, although short, was a messy deal. I participated in three distinct battles, the largest being the battle of Medinah Ridge.
When we returned to Germany, our unit de-activated and we all went our separate directions, having little or no time to feel or discuss what had happened. I proceeded to Ft Campbell, 3-187th INF and tried to get on with my military career. Combat had bothered me tremendously. It had put me in some scary spots and left me with pictures, sounds, and smells in my head that I could not shake.
I soon got this idea that if I trained harder and learned more, maybe I wouldn’t be as scared nest time.

While at Campbell, I attended numerous schools to include Jump School, Ranger School, Rappel Master, Drop Zone Support Team, and NBC School, nothing seemed to help. My alcohol consumption increased in leaps and bounds and I began to feel desperate. From Campbell, I went to Alaska and things went from bad to worse. I was constantly over-fatigued, having bad nightmares, night sweats, problems with my joints, and my skin seemed to be changing. As a leader in Light Infantry units, I didn’t go on sick-call or seek the help, that I know now, I needed. In 1996 it all came to a head, and I attempted to take my own life. I was released from active duty later that year, 11years into my Army career.

It wasn’t until 1999, that a Vietnam vet explained PTSD to me. I never would have considered that Gulf War vets could be considered for this. It seemed to me that this type of ailment was reserved for those who spent a lot of time in battle. Our battle was short and it didn’t seem right that I could have problems as severe as PTSD, in other words, in comparison to Vietnam or WWII, I didn’t feel I deserved it.
I have struggled for a lot of years now. Talking to other combat vets and constant prayer seem to help the most. I take many meds and am obsessed with understanding PTSD and combat. I have tried to talk to buddies that I served with over there, but they seem to find it to difficult to talk about. I am currently rated at 70%, 50% for PTSD, and 20% for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

I didn’t mean to be so long winded, but I love Point Man, and know that this is a safe place to talk. I seem to really seems to help this morning. God Bless you all, and thanks for your time.

[EmandNsmom]

Hi Jeff! Welcome to this thread and please don't feel like you are intruding. :D It's nice to hear from other people and it's nice to meet you as well! superhappy Anyway, my hubby, Marc is a 13 mic.. MLRS.. Multiple Launch Rocket Systems Crew member. Wow I feel super smart now.. lol Anyway, he did 8 months in Iraq from March 20, 2003 until November 16, 2003. He was also deployed to Camp Stanley Korea for 12 months. (Gotta "love" those 12 month unaccompanied tours). He feels like you did about how he shouldn't be going through what he is going through because he didn't go through as much as alot of other guys did,(He has told me this on numerous occasions). I have to say, God is blessing us and everyday I see more and more of God's healing taking place. I asked him yesterday if he is by chance ready to have the responsability as head of house and priest of his home, He looked at me and with a big grin on his face, said, Yes I am and I want to be. I felt bad a first for asking, and told him that if he wasn;t ready I would understand and I was blessed to hear the word,"yes", come from his mouth. I Know that I know that I know, that God is definatly healing him and I am claiming the complete thing. God is doing it in his own timing which is awesome. I am going to encourage him again, that if he would like, to get on here and start getting in contact with other guys. It's a blessing to know that I can come here and that other people understand me and not only that, they understand my husband and are praying for us. Again, it's great to meet you and pray you have a wonderful and blessed day!

In Christ,
Stephanie:cart127:

[EmandNsmom]

Hey Shawn! I appreicate your response. I'm really glad to know that I wan't just being all "fleshy" so to speak about my frustrations. I have been through things in my life that I feel I have gained wisdom. understanding, experience, and age with. And hearing from someone who has been there is much better than somone who has been trained to tellyou what they think you need to hear. I do believe that Pointman is a vital ministry to vets that the church needs. Yes I believe that God can do all things, even heal in an instant, but I also believe that he uses many different methods to do it. I talked to some guy at the store last night that has been in Iraq and sorta struck up a conversation and asked him if something like pointman would be of interest to him, (kind of wanted to get a stranger's perspective) and he said yes it would be a good thing and would be useful. I am praying and asking for God's guidance and wisdom. I feel as if God is "calling" me or giving me a desire to help military families. As Marc would say,"I don't know what a "calling" feels like but I do know what passion is.. and God has given me a passion for military families. Well I need to run for now, today is Abigale's first birthday and I have a cake to make!

MMM.... Chocolate cake.. That's not exactly what I need, considering I've just lost 17 pounds. Hmmm.. maybe if put a piece of it on my plate and kind of tip it to the side, the calories would fall off the plate??? Maybe not!

Have a blessed day!
Stephanie

[EmandNsmom]

Hello everyone, I wanted to give you all heads up that Marc will be joining the board. Hooray! I believe his name is going to be SteelrainOIF or something like that.. He has also read over some of the info that we recieved in the mail and will be going to our associate pastor with it. Just wanted to let ya'll know he will be starting to post. Praise God!

In Christ,
Stephanie

:cross_glo

[danausmc]

Marc,
Welcome home.

And welcome to our home, and which is now yor home too. Please make yourself comfortable here. When you are ready, please jump in to the discussion. This forum is unlike any other that I have seen because most folks that post here are never on line at the same time and may takes hours or even days to respond, so if you post and no one answers right away, its not because of you.
Our home is your home, so welcome aboard.
Dana

[SteelRainOIF]

Well, I am the hubby that Emandnsmom spoke about. Ive been reading thru this forum and have spoken to Mr. John Daily several times and am convinced that this is a good place for me. I dont know if this is the place to rant and rave about my feelings with PTSD from day to day or to talk about graphic and disturbing things I dealt with and witnessed while in Iraq. If there is another place I should post these things will someone please direct the new guy to the information desk? :D I look forward to getting to know all the other vets on here and discussing issues.







Eggs for me and whatever the lady wants, just put it on my tab.

[Sgt. Duffy-USMC]

Originally posted by Danausmc
It has taken me a long time to respond to your posts and I am not sure why.

I think it has to do with my recollections of what happened to me so many years ago.

PTSD was not some common buzz word like it is today. So no one knew what the problem was or how to fix it.
I just know at age nineteen, I was light years older than my contemporaries that stayed behind. Nothing was the same. Looked the same but not like I remembered. Did not get close to anyone. Worked all day, drank all night, and then fight your way out of the bars, crash, take a shower and head to work and start over.

Did not know the body was craving that adrenaline rush that the constant fear of death brought about.

Everything happened in slow motion. Saw everyday things in life and death consequences. Noises would see me jumping over check out counters at the store because it sounded like a rocket attack.

Like all my friends, bought the fastest car I could afford.
Chargers, Hemi Road Runners, 454 and 427 Corvettes, you name it, someone I ran with had one. I got caught by the Sherriff at 140 mph...death wish?
Dont think so.

Had no one to talk to except my Vet friends from high school and all we did was drink and fight. Our answer was "suck it up, you're behind," and then all ya had was a headache.

Who knew that this was a natural extension of an unatural event and trauma? Not me for sure, so I just went to work, met my wife at a party, kept up with the bar fights and running and finally got married.

If I only knew that Jesus was real and did not abandon me and the others 14,000 miles away in the muck of Vietnam, maybe it would have been different.

We all left part of ourselves there. Just like your Marc has left part of himself in Iraq.

When we came home, at least from my experience, the Church turned its back on the returning Veterans.
I got a letter from my boyhood church telling me if I did not attend communion or send a donation, I was history at the Church. Needless to say I got the BOOT!!

Three years later, my daughter was nearly killed and my wife attended a Church where a Pastor we met in the intensive care was the Pastor. I did not go. I said ALL Church and church members were hippocrites and liars or worse and there was in fact no God.

Well she talked me into attending one Sunday and the Pastor addressed every statement I ever made about Church. It dawned on me that my attitude was what was holding me back, not God.

Then the following week, the Church came up with a plan to adopt a Vietnamese "Boat" family and put them up in an upscale neighborhood until they could get on their feet. Started haveing real issues then. They got better treatment and recognition than the Vets thast were in the Church.

If the Church had recognized the need for veterans to have a NON threatening place for Vets to come and share their stories with each other, run by other Vets, I believe things would be different. You could talk out your issues and pray and gets Gods direction.

There is no magic formula to this. It is an ongoing process and you have to work on it every day.

You two really need to communicate with each other.
I dont know any Vets that like a suprise anything. Keep talking to one another. Sometimes you need a little space, but dont stay apart for too long either.

In this day and age it is too easy to just quit and give up on each other. Get some support together for both of you...if you get in a group that only tears down their husbands, get out of that group. It wont help you.
Make a new commitment to one another, and then live it.

This is a hard task, but you are both more than overcomers.

And by the way, you have wonderful looking kids.

Thanks Marc for stepping up and serving our Country.
Welcome Home.

"THE ADRENALINE RUSH THAT THE CONSTANT FEAR OF DEATH BRINGS ON."

My friend , Dana, as I read your words so well written above and sense those words hidden within the above paragraphs, I once again hear the scraping of a key turning in a tightly locked door.

Some may feel that they have not posted enough, or often enough..... but that is not necessarily the case.... sometimes more can be learned from listening than by speaking. Many of us read almost every word in these Point Man Forums and yet speak little. There is nothing wrong with that because those who have spoken have in one form or another touched the hearts of those of us who silently read.... and quietly cry.

[danausmc]

Thanks for posting.

A couple days ago, I mentioned to Shawn that posting kind of forces you to collect your thoughts and put them in order. You might just want to try that and even if you dont post it, it will help you sort out what is going on in your head.

Duffy is right, lots of people log on and read every word and only post once in awhile, if at all.

Same thing happens in any group.

Look around the PTSD forum and you can see the drift each thread has taken, and if you dont see a spot you think is the proper place for your thoughts and comments, hit NEW THREAD in the PTSD FORUM and you can start your own thread.

You can e-mail me from here if you need to.

Dana

[danausmc]

Originally posted by Sgt. Duffy-USMC
"THE ADRENALINE RUSH THAT THE CONSTANT FEAR OF DEATH BRINGS ON."

My friend , Dana, as I read your words so well written above and sense those words hidden within the above paragraphs, I once again hear the scraping of a key turning in a tightly locked door.

Some may feel that they have not posted enough, or often enough..... but that is not necessarily the case.... sometimes more can be learned from listening than by speaking. Many of us read almost every word in these Point Man Forums and yet speak little. There is nothing wrong with that because those who have spoken have in one form or another touched the hearts of those of us who silently read.... and quietly cry.

But I believe that you are still looking and finding that "rush" I was talking about with your work in the wilderness. You could just be sitting feeling sorry for yourself, but instead you choose to be out, in danger, making a difference in the world around you.
Being part of something good and positive says a lot.

My hat is off to you, and thanks for putting what I was thinking in print.

Good morning Sgt. Duffy.
Dana

[chapmick]

Reading the posts and praying hard during this Lenten Season. Thank the good Lord for a safe haven like PMIM. And praise be that these Vets will not have to represss every lousy thought of War for the next 30 years. How crazy the irony is,that us Viet/Vets are finally able to be of some help. Mic

[Shawn Powell]

As a young recruit in the early 80's, my peers and I were in awe of the Viet Nam veteran. Not only were about half of our drill sergeants nam vets (wearing Big Red Ones, Screaming Eagles, Americal patches, etc on their right shoulders), but we also received alot of unit history regarding Viet Nam once we got to our permanent duty stations. All of the 1SG's, the BC and CSM of my battalion in Germany (4th BN 16th IN) were nam vets. 5th Group, 9th Division, 1st Cav( two of 'em), 1st ID, Americal. My platoon sergeant in Germany was a nam vet. Brent Reber, 4th Infantry Division. You wanted to please him cause you knew he had been there, done that. I remember at Ft Campbell there was an NCO in our company who was one of two nam vets in our unit. When we mobilized for the Gulf, the CO and the 1SG along with PSG's would flock around this soldier to pick his brain. He was a stabilizing force in our company.

No, Mic. You boys have always influenced me and given me a solid standard to attain to. It is an honor to count you as my brothers. Let me tell all of you again... thank you for your service and sacrifice... and welcome home.

Shawn. :cross_glo :cross_glo :cross_glo

[chapmick]

Thank you my friend for the kind words for all of us. Carry on! Mic

[BORNAGAINVET]

I agree with Shawn. I have always had the highest respect for Veitnam Veterans. I didn't join the Army untill 1984, but the Veitnam experience was still the driving force in my eyes. Believe it or not, Veitnam was part of my interest in joining the service.

I always felt that Veitnam Vets got a raw deal, and I know at times that has effected my feelings with the guilt I feel due to PTSD or memories of combat. I kind of felt like I didn't earn the right to be sick in comparison to length and support between the two conflicts. I know that it was because of Veitnam directly, that Desert Storm and all current conflicts have the support they do.

You guys sacrificed far more than all that was given on the battlefield. The public is more able to seperate soldiers and sacrifice from politics. It was Veitnam Vets that helped me discover my illness and set me in the right direction for help. Veterans are my heros, and the ones with the experience both on and off the battlefield (Veitnam) rate among the highest. I too, am extremely proud to be able to call you brothers. God Bless you all.

[usmc26th]

Originally posted by BORNAGAINVET
I agree with Shawn. I have always had the highest respect for Veitnam Veterans. I didn't join the Army untill 1984, but the Veitnam experience was still the driving force in my eyes. Believe it or not, Veitnam was part of my interest in joining the service.

I always felt that Veitnam Vets got a raw deal, and I know at times that has effected my feelings with the guilt I feel due to PTSD or memories of combat. I kind of felt like I didn't earn the right to be sick in comparison to length and support between the two conflicts. I know that it was because of Veitnam directly, that Desert Storm and all current conflicts have the support they do.

You guys sacrificed far more than all that was given on the battlefield. The public is more able to seperate soldiers and sacrifice from politics. It was Veitnam Vets that helped me discover my illness and set me in the right direction for help. Veterans are my heros, and the ones with the experience both on and off the battlefield (Veitnam) rate among the highest. I












too, am extremely proud to be able to call you brothers. God Bless you all.

Just wanted to say , WELCOME HOME BRO'S. We are all vets, and are all equal nomatter what war or action we were in. I'm glad to see you guys here, and hope to learn from you , and believe me I will, I also have a son in that was in Desert Strom, and is Back in the sand lot again at this time, He's with the 216th Eng, as a medic or chief medic, and may need to learn from you to help him. I lesten alot and don't post much, but I'm here at least once a day. again Thank You and GOD BLESS

[Larry Tramblay]

Hello all,

My name is Larry and this is my first entry into this site. Let me begin with a blessing for each and every one of you... the works of this site is awesome and it's a privilege to be with you.

I want to add my input regarding the Viet Nam experience in comparison to all those other experiences. The comparison is.... zip, nada. PTSD is no discriminator of location or time.

I spent 1.5 years in the infantry before Nam broke out. I extended for electronics training and ended up a crypto tech. There was an opening in Okinawa for my MOS and I thought about how awesome it would be to be there in my new MOS instead of the 0311 (infantry) that I enjoyed on a previous trip.

I spent 3 glorious weeks playing volleyball before we were all shipped down to DaNang and then separated out to a variety of units. (Don't volunteer for "anything".... man was I slow).

When I arrived in DaNang they asked us about personal weapons. I had a scuba knife and was told to check it in at the company office because it was considered a weapon. (good grief) I next saw my "weapon" the day that I shipped back stateside.

We were all carrying M14's but were not given any ammo. Why? Because someone might get hurt. The few times our perimeter was hit (opposite of Dog Patch) we all lined up at a connex box to get our ration of ammo. Rear echelon idiots...

So what's this got to do with the PTSD.... I went through a couple of marraiges, am an alcoholic, don't socialize much, had a "very" low tolorance for others, do not like crowds, etc. I figured it was because I'm an introvert. Not so! It took the support of a few good shrinks but I finially began to see where the problem was. Yep, inside Larry.

I was diagnosed with CLL (Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia) in August 2001. I've spent most of my life savings trying to get rid of this stuff. The VA finially announced that CLL is a presumptive condition of agent orange and it was signed into law this past November. In the mean time I went to the VA to try and get some financial support. I got some but it didn't kick in until December 2003.... no retroactive money. By the way, I first heard about CLL being accepted by the VA 3 weeks after I prayed for financial help! He IS awesome!

I met a sailer who was off shore from Viet Nam, shelling the place. He had PTSD. And you know what? He deserves as much help and understanding as anyone else.

I asked the DAV to represent me to the VA and my DAV rep asked me about PTSD. I said I was cured! He said to put it down anyway. I did, was interviewed and diagnosed at 50% comp. My cancer is 100% permanent (no cure). 100% + 50% = 100% (dang).

Later I read the interview comments regarding my PTSD and I was shocked! Can't be talking about me, I don't have all those problems... right. The psychiatrist was good, he caught me in the BS I was downplaying. Thank God.

My point here is important.... the VA has funds and resources available to help... for all of us. I've heard horror stories but the VA Hospital here in Seattle has bent over backwards helping me; them and the DAV. I have no complaints and lots of strokes for the people working there! If you need help see them. You can get some $$ and some good counseling.

And, there's no priority for any one war or action over another. If you're hurtin' there's help. The BEST help I've found has been the power of two or more praying in agreement. Try it....

To end this I want to let you know that my cancer is in stage 4.... and you know what? I've NEVER known such peace and joy as what I have right now. I would go through all this again, in a heartbeat, to learn the lessons of faith and trust in Christ that I've been blessed to receive.

[SteelRainOIF]

Evening or morning whatever the case may be. This is EmandNsmom. It's been awhile since I or my husband has posted. I for one have been busy at church and he's been busy at work. Anyway, I just wanted to give ya'll a little update about us. First of all, God is good!:) Marc is doing better everday. I mean some days aren't as good, but for the most part he is continuing to make real progress!:) Second, he is now looking at possibly turning in paper work for him to get out on a mental/ medical discharge. It depends on how God wants to work this. I am blessed and continue to be so daily. Thank you all for your prayers!

:superhapp Stephanie
(EmandNsmom)

P.S. Welcome to all those whom I have not had the privlege to address before! Peace and God's blessings to each one of you!

[Shawn Powell]

Hey guys,
Check out the last page of the PTSD Issues thread, in particular the posts by BORNAGAINVET, DANAUSMC and ChapMic. I believe these posts put alot of what we are dealing with in perspective... it is sobering. Please read prayerfully.

God Bless. Shawn.

[BORNAGAINVET]

For a soldier, especially those who serve in combat arms specialties, combat is like the final exam at the end of the course. You learn, train, and practice your skills to the point of reacting without thinking. In training you concentrate on the mission at hand. The success of the mission is the only thing that matters. When you enter on to the field of battle, you are able to raise your weapon, pull the trigger and terminate the enemy with extreme prejudice and little remorse. Most can except this concept, and it certainly save lives if you are able to react with minimal thought, and little remorse.

It is not until the smoke clears, and you tally the cost that you realize what was truly at stake. "Freedom" is by far the most costly proposition I know. Without the thousands who have, do, and will selflessly defend our values, rights, and ability to love our brother, the meaning of freedom would be lost. I have the deepest respect for those who bear the burden of making the world a better place.

The screams I hear in my sleep at night are the voices of my brothers who didn't come home to continue to enjoy the very things that they so selflessly sacrificed for. I am thankful that we can all find time to think about those who put it all on the line and despite the tremendous dangers and challenges, marched forward to ensure we live in a better, safer place.

We are honorable warriors, members of a long line of honored men and women. Because of our experiences we have much to offer those who have lived safe and secure lives thanks to our sacrifices. They owe us thanks, and we owe them the truth about life, death and struggle.

I would like to take a moment to thank our Heavenly Father, and to share that the single constant in my life has been prayer, and fellow vets that are willing to acknowledge one anothers presence. God Bless you all -Jeff-

[EmandNsmom]

Hello ya'll. I first want to start off by apologizing for my lack of participation. I have dealt with my own inner struggles. I spent a long time being depressed, etc.. Basically giving myself a huge pitty party for lack of better words. I have repented and now am once again up and positive. I wanted to share a few updates with ya'll. First, Marc is being Medically retired(for ptsd) from the Army.. the medical board is taking awhile, but It will happen in God's time, right. He goes to the VA on thursday to speak to a rep, hoping to find out how much disability he will be getting. He continues therapy, etc.. and is making alot of progress. I remember something John Daily told me.. you learn to live with ptsd, control it instead of controlling you. He has been doing that. I mean we have up days and down days.. I am learning to patient, understand, and walk in love on those times. Things are better here. We are moving back to Oklahoma city the beginning of June and marc will hopefully be allowed to take leave so we can make all that happen. Selling the house.. Marc says,"He wants to be away from the artillery and people in uniform". He and I both know, that just because we move, doesn't mean the problems will just go away.. those things are still there.. you just leave some old unneccessary baggae behind... He is also having really bad dreams.. I will let him tell ya'll about it sometime if he likes. Well everyone, I hope ya'll have been blessed, and I promise to be more active here.
In Him,
Stephanie :superhapp

[Shawn Powell]

Repented of what Steph?
Not being up and positive?
This is where I believe the Christian culture severely drops the ball. We strive so much for external appearances and behaviors and all the world does is look at us and laugh. They've come to the conclusion that we really don't have what we say we have. The authenticity of the Christian life is forged through the pain and hurts of living in a fallen world. If WE think we have anything to contribute to this under our own endeavor, then Christ is dead in vain. Paul said that God is strong through our weaknesses... I believe that is complete and total surrender to the Lord, having no option but to rely on His grace and mercy. The authentic outward manifestations of a soul that has been redeemed by the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus blossom during the journey of life. In other words, salvation is instantaneous and transformation takes a little more time.
Marc and Stephanie... you guys are in my prayers... God is with you and your precious family... He will get you through this time of your lives. I believe over time that your testimony will touch many lives in the years to come... indeed that you will comfort those with the same comfort you have received. There's alot of soldiers and families that are impacted by the war in Iraq and Afghanistan... there's alot of soldiers and families on this site that are impacted by the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Old wounds and triggers are being opened and initiated everyday. You are not alone, dear.
Promise me you will not try to 'fix' the situation on your own through what the church thinks is the 'upbeat and positive' way a Christian should act. Cling to Jesus, Marc and Steph... sometimes that's all you can do... again, when you are weak He is strong.
Understand you are among friends and allies here.

Shawn.

[cj]

Stephanie,

I just want to say that what Shawn said in his comments to you is Oh....so......right!
Trust in the Lord and stay tight in the Lord. It has been the experience of usmc26th, (my husband Lou) and myself, devistatingly so, on one of a number of occassions of having the church drop the ball and on that one occassion, run.....so to speak. A good church, don't get me wrong, but unequipped to deal with the specialized problems of P.T.S.D. and unwilling to give an inch to the idea that there is such a thing. That if we were right with God, we would no longer have it. Meaning well but falling short. We were forced to wing it on our own turning our problems completely over to Jesus by ourselves, and then, finally, getting a handle on things in what turned out to be a better way much to the astonishment of some of our closest friends who had insisted we could only do it in church. There are many GOOD churches so don't get me wrong and think I said don't go to church. I did not say that. I said in SOME cases we need to be tolerant as Jesus was tolerant and realize; what works for one may not work for another and that doesn't make it necessarily the wrong way. You need not repent for perfectly normal human feelings of sadness, frustration or depression over things and circumstances. Jesus was saddened at times. Jesus was frustrated at times. Jesus was angry at times. He did not necessarily repent of those feelings but He did ask the Father for strength to understand and cope. Being human, He too was plagued by human emotions. He had a prayer line to His Father in heaven as we too have a direct line to Jesus and to the Father through Him There is no other way possible more powerful than this if you truly have faith and believe. Like I said.stay "tight" in the Lord and trust in the knowing that He is there for you and in the long run, things will work out in His time and utilizing His knowledge in what you really need. May He bless you richly.

[SteelRainOIF]

Shawn and C.J., you guys couldn't have said it better. I truely agree. I had lost my focus on God.. and I did need to work on my relationship with him.. among other things. You guys have said what I was feeling about the church. It's like you say, Hey this is what's happening.. and nobody wants to acknowledge it. Thank you for all the support you guys are giving. Thank you for showing me that it is ok to feel all the things I am feeling, but also to remind me to cling to HIM and to trust him. I also think that you are right about us some time in the future helping others who are going through this. I felt it from the beginning. That I wanted to help other women whose husbands were going through this. I know it will happen in God's time. Thank you again for all the prayers and support!

In Christ,
Stephanie (EmandNsmom)
:angel_fly

[danausmc]

Stephanie,
You are not alone, so dont be shy about sharing. Once your hubby gets squared away with the VA, see if he can sign up for the PTSD program at the Topeka KS, VA. It is probably one of the very best. There is a waiting list, but PM leaders from the area also participate and there is a very high success rate. I am personally of the opinion that GOD can, will and does heal any or all of us from all infirmities, Church or no Church. But he also does it in his own time. What Carole said about each being different is right on too. When Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendego got tossed in the fiurnace, they said O great king, Our God will save us, but even if he does not, we will not worship you. We will only worship Him. (my paraphrase).

Seems to me God will give you the strength to deal with every issue, to the extent of your faith through Jesus. So be of good cheer. There is nothing easy about any of this. We are all at some point on this journey and for those a little farther down the road, we will wait for the others to catch up.

Look and see, each has their own story , but it could be yours. Watch and see when someone says this is where I was, and this is where I am now and this is the Way to get there.

We will satnd with you and the rest of your family. it is that important.
Gods Blessings to you.
Dana