PTSD Questions [Archive] - Point Man Ministries

Shawn Powell

02-03-2004, 10:06 AM

opps

Everyone,

I'm the new guy... have to admit I'm a little apprehensive being a part of this. I read some of the posts here and you guys have been through a lot. Nevertheless, I know there is safety here. I hope I can really share my heart.
Been a Christian since 1985 and thought I was God's right-hand man... a true church "professional." Hussein's Republican Guard and elements of his 45th Infantry Division pretty much humbled me in 1990-1991. What I thought was a solid spiritual foundation was NOTHING. I got back to the states and pretty much have felt like a terd in a punch bowl in church since then. Can't really identify with civilian Christians... everything seems to be A-OK with them in life.
I struggle with severe depression and anxiety... laced with bouts of anger and sleeplessness. This really began to blossum in 95-96 in addition to severe digestive problems. It's been God's Grace that has gotten me this far, he's provided for me and my beautiful family despite my lack of "salt and light."
I've thought about getting involved with Point Man for years now, but it came to a head after my most recent tour in Iraq in 2003 with a light infantry unit from the Oregon Army Guard. What a nightmare. Got back this past summer and immediately fell into a black void... didn't use meds though, bros... probably needed to.
Since I started working again in December after release from active duty, God is keeping me stable. Bottom line is I want to get back to loving Jesus again... could use some insight and prayers.
I would never attempt to put myself on equal ground as you Nam Vets, but the Persian Gulf has been my personal Gesthemene over the last 13 years. Soon we're gonna have more kids getting back from over there and they'll be hurting too, brothers. Hope to hear from someone soon, God Bless.

Screamin Eagles, man...!
Shawn.

Trooper

02-03-2004, 01:00 PM

:cross_glo

War is War! PTSD has been tracked back before the Cival War. I personally know WWII, Korean and Persain Gulf Vets that have the same problems.

You stand in a place to reach some of the younger Vets with your testimony, where they might not be reached my us older Vets.

Your Bible says to Comfort others with the Confort youve recived.

If you've recived, you need to share.

Shawn Powell

02-04-2004, 07:11 AM

Roger, Jack-

War is war. But how do you deal with attending church? I'm so pissed at the alloofness that permeates what is supposed to be the Body of Christ. It seems the majority of the American church has lost its identity. The hurting are never attended to... it exists only to "grow," and be nothing more than a social club. It gets all shifty and nervous when it has to deal with somenones emotional problems like anger and depression. It withdraws from those who have substance abuse problems... they...we get left out in the cold with a trite "Be warmed and filled" type of response. The Bible says the "Common man heard Him (Jesus) gladly." The church doesn't offer Jesus... it can't touch the prostitutes and walking wounded because it just cannot identify with it... with US!
This ENFURIATES ME! That's why I need you guys... I want to touch the hurting, but it seems it will only happen as a "Lone Ranger" apart from organized church... at the same time, I long for the communion of like-minded believers. I know Jesus will complete the good work He began in me, but the last 13 years have been ONE BAD WALK IN THE WILDERNESS, bro.
You know what I see being with you guys? I see Christians who truly are wounded healers... Christians who truly walk with a limp... just like Jacob did after God thrashed his hip. Brother, these are the people that through Jesus impact their community, right?
Look, I don't know what I'm trying to get at... I honestly feel in my heart that time is short... I want all that the Lord has for me and you for the remainder of the time we have on earth. God Bless you guys.:angel_fly :angel_fly

Trooper

02-04-2004, 07:59 AM

:cross_glo

As a Pastor I agree about the lukewarm or cold church of today. But I don't agree that all is lost. I have found the truth of the Word as it says your healing springs forth when you Give out to others.

My solution is to get involved with reaching others, through missionary outreaches, drug and alcohol ministries. As I quoted before, Comfort those with the Comfort you've recived.

Getting Involved with others takes your mind off of "the poor me syndrome."

if you can't find a ministry, find a small group of strong Godly men in your church that heave simmalar skills and intrests and start a ministry, under the Pastors Oversight of course.

danausmc

02-04-2004, 07:05 PM

Originally posted by Trooper
:cross_glo

As a Pastor I agree about the lukewarm or cold church of today. But I don't agree that all is lost. I have found the truth of the Word as it says your healing springs forth when you Give out to others.

My solution is to get involved with reaching others, through missionary outreaches, drug and alcohol ministries. As I quoted before, Comfort those with the Comfort you've recived.

Getting Involved with others takes your mind off of "the poor me syndrome."

if you can't find a ministry, find a small group of strong Godly men in your church that heave simmalar skills and intrests and start a ministry, under the Pastors Oversight of course.

Sound advice Jack. Dont hurt to be under the cover of the local Pastor, but many times the local guy is real territorial and gets real antsy about protecting his sheep. Most churches I see and visit say nice job, but since it did not start here, it probably wont work. So have a nice life...
This is probably the single biggest complaint I hear...and hear all the time about the church.
My Pastor says the church of today dose not have enough power to knok over a Seven Eleven. I must say that is probably true.
So it is up to us to step up and become that light so others can see Jesus.

danausmc

02-04-2004, 07:19 PM

Hey brother,
My boys name is Sean too.
Anyway,
Your PTSD questions...
do you remember the picture that was in Time and all the other news magazines with the trooper greiving over the body of his friend from bootcamp, during the Gulf War?
Kid lived across the street from me. Now he is in South Buffalo in a two room apartment by himself.
His dad did 30 years in the Army and is a Viet Vet.
Now thirteen years later , same house , but this time a new kid is on his way to the Gulf and Iraq.
four other kids on my street went to Gulf War One. None of them are married. everyone of them acts like what they did , did not compare to Vietnam. War is war.
Same stuff, different day. Still hurts. Somehow, society has convinced these kids that since they got a parade, they should just suck it up and have no problems. ( by the way, no parade for any of these kids).
What concerns me is how many Gulf vets are finally coming out, because of the current war and not dealing with their own stuff at the time.
Shawn, please know you are very welcome here and please accept my most profound thanks for your service to our Country.
Doing what is right is becoming less popular every day,
so dont hesitate to jump in anywhere here.
You are welcome to ask any question and there is always someone to answer.
Might not be immediate, but someone is here.
Dana

usmc26th

02-04-2004, 07:36 PM

Shawn, Hi I'm Lou, and also want to welcome you . WELCOME HOME. wAR IS WAR NOMATTER WHERE OR WHO. i ALSO AGREE WITH Jack and Dana.
My son was there the frist time and is in Ind. now training to go back again, they just don't when they will leave, If there is anything I can do just let me know; Again WELCOME HOME

Shawn Powell

02-05-2004, 07:33 AM

Dana,

Thanks man... again I'm grateful for the opportunity to be part of this. Yes, I think the majority of the Gulf boys have tried to "suck it up" over the last decade. Hell, they handed out medals like they were candy and authorized an "early out" for us as soon as we got back stateside... honestly I don't think we knew what hit us until several years later. Then of course there's the guilt... those Marines that got hit in Kahfji... fought bravely and really kicked ass, also lost some boys in that LAV friendly-fire engagement. Too, the 24th ID got into some heavy duty stuff on day one of the ground offensive... your neighbor was part of that unit, Dana. 101st and 82nd got some arty and small arms fire thrown at us at As Salman, Cobra and the Euphrates River valley but those Iraqi boys didn't have much fight in them. After getting pounded from the air during the previous month, they were coming out of their holes with thumbs up yelling "Bush! Bush!" When God told Paul "My Grace is sufficient for you" do you think He was stating that "Look, I know how much you can take... it's my Grace and Mercy that has gotten you through all this thus far, it's my Grace and Mercy that will take you the rest of the way."?
I don't know Dana, this is stuff the church doesn't like to hear... they just wink at it. But thank you for the encouragement and prayers as well... I know I am among brothers, thank you Jesus.

Lou,

Thanks for the note... welcome home to you too, bro. What unit was your boy in during the first go-around? Please tell him God Bless him and thank you for his service. Indiana's not a bad outfit, we ran into elements from one of their battalions in both Kuwait and southern Iraq. One of their company's secured Talil airfield in May-June 03. Not bad leadership for a guard unit. I just ask for your prayers Lou, not too proud to ask for them! I got a buddy that I work with here at the Border Patrol... John Putnam. Nam vet with 101st and 1st ID... I love him alot but have difficulty sharing anything about the Lord with him. He just don't wanna hear it. God Bless, Lou!

Trooper

02-05-2004, 08:36 AM

Originally posted by Danausmc
Sound advice Jack. Dont hurt to be under the cover of the local Pastor, but many times the local guy is real territorial and gets real antsy about protecting his sheep. Most churches I see and visit say nice job, but since it did not start here, it probably wont work. So have a nice life...
This is probably the single biggest complaint I hear...and hear all the time about the church.
My Pastor says the church of today dose not have enough power to knok over a Seven Eleven. I must say that is probably true.
So it is up to us to step up and become that light so others can see Jesus.
:cross_glo

Dana I fully agree, and I told Shawn as much. But there are a FEW of us Pastors that understand and welcome the help in doing God's work. The pastors i've found most receptive were VETS themselves.

usmc26th

02-06-2004, 07:17 AM

Originally posted by Shawn Powell
Dana,

Thanks man... again I'm grateful for the opportunity to be part of this. Yes, I think the majority of the Gulf boys have tried to "suck it up" over the last decade. Hell, they handed out medals like they were candy and authorized an "early out" for us as soon as we got back stateside... honestly I don't think we knew what hit us until several years later. Then of course there's the guilt... those Marines that got hit in Kahfji... fought bravely and really kicked ass, also lost some boys in that LAV friendly-fire engagement. Too, the 24th ID got into some heavy duty stuff on day one of the ground offensive... your neighbor was part of that unit, Dana. 101st and 82nd got some arty and small arms fire thrown at us at As Salman, Cobra and the Euphrates River valley but those Iraqi boys didn't have much fight in them. After getting pounded from the air during the previous month, they were coming out of their holes with thumbs up yelling "Bush! Bush!" When God told Paul "My Grace is sufficient for you" do you think He was stating that "Look, I know how much you can take... it's my Grace and Mercy that has gotten you through all this thus far, it's my Grace and Mercy that will take you the rest of the way."?
I don't know Dana, this is stuff the church doesn't like to hear... they just wink at it. But thank you for the encouragement and prayers as well... I know I am among brothers, thank you Jesus.

Lou,

Thanks for the note... welcome home to you too, bro. What unit was your boy in during the first go-around? Please tell him God Bless him and thank you for his service. Indiana's not a bad outfit, we ran into elements from one of their battalions in both Kuwait and southern Iraq. One of their company's secured Talil airfield in May-June 03. Not bad leadership for a guard unit. I just ask for your prayers Lou, not too proud to ask for them! I got a buddy that I work with here at the Border Patrol... John Putnam. Nam vet with 101st and 1st ID... I love him alot but have difficulty sharing anything about the Lord with him. He just don't wanna hear it. God Bless, Lou!

Idon't the unit he was with, but he was a mechinac in a signal co. They left Germany to go to the sand box. He drove a wrecker there with the name PROBLEM CHILD on the front, thats all I can tell ya. This time hes with the Ohio guard, Hes there head medic, when he got out, he went to school and became a LPN. They're training in Ind.

I was like the guy you work with intill about 10 years ago when I let God into my life. What meant help [worked with me and leader for me with others] is plant the seed, and just back off, be a friend and be there for him in times of need and stay on your chistian walk, [not pushing chistian in is face] By him seeing what God is doing for you mite get him thinking. Like I said it worked for me. Just my thoughts, everyone is different, and what worked for me mite not work on him.

snowyowl

02-13-2004, 08:11 AM

Welcome aboard Shawn,
I've had issues with the "Civilian" Christians since the '70s and I wasn't in the SEA wargames. I grew up in the Air Force here and in the Orient during that time frame. I just felt closer to God while I was in the service and unless the congregation was "stacked with military families" I felt out of place.
That's what I have appreciated about Pointman Ministries.

Shawn Powell

02-13-2004, 11:19 AM

Originally posted by snowyowl
Welcome aboard Shawn,
I've had issues with the "Civilian" Christians since the '70s and I wasn't in the SEA wargames. I grew up in the Air Force here and in the Orient during that time frame. I just felt closer to God while I was in the service and unless the congregation was "stacked with military families" I felt out of place.
That's what I have appreciated about Pointman Ministries.

Thanks... I'm finding that being able to access this site and gain input from brothers is making it more easy to "suck it up" when I'm in church. I've been reminded of the importance and practicality of the life application of scripture as opposed knowing the Christian cliche verses. The latter didn't help me when the caca hit the fan, so to speak.

God Bless.:angel_fly

Shawn Powell

02-16-2004, 10:07 PM

Men,

I've been reading the posts on various subjects. I realize the need to be able to meditate on what is being said and shared before posting a reply. I'm finding out a post should be prayerfully considered before launched into cyberspace.
The Lord has really spoken to my heart (in spite of myself) regarding what a priviledge it is to be counted among you guys... I know the wounds here are deep... it is my sincere prayer that God would touch my brothers... usher in a season of peace for all of you.
Forgive my previous posts, they are much too ME centered... I know when I get burdened and down, you guys will be here to listen to me and provide guidance. But right now, and I believe the Lord wants you all to hear this and gain some encouragement from this... gentlemen, what can I do for YOU?
You all are in my prayers... I believe Jesus for the healing He is doing in all our hearts... but I just wanna let you guys know that you are in my prayers. Thank you for the way you have impacted me in my brief stay here, my wife has noticed a marked difference.
I hope to some extent I can do the same for you in the days/ months/ years ahead. It is truly a blessing to serve you my brothers. (We few... we happy few... we band of brothers....)Shakespeare, Henry V.

Shawn.

:angel_fly

BORNAGAINVET

03-15-2004, 11:21 AM

If I may be so bold. My name is Jeff Dodge. I have been a part of Point Man fir a couple of years now. That is to say, I have shared Point Man with vets I have met along the way. I tried to start an outpost, but found it difficult to organize anything when I don't feel I have myself under control. I do well to talk to vets when I feel like getting out and doing so. I know that may sound selfish, but the fact is that is how I currently feel and I pray I will get better with it.

I too, am a Desert Storm vet. I am currently 50% for PTSD and have recently gone back to the C&P board to try to raise it.
Unlike Shawn, I didn't know the Lord prior to combat. When I returned I had a terrible time. Long story short after serving 11 years on active duty, in 1996 I attempted suicide and left the Army. I didn't find the Lord untill 1999, at the age of 33.

I enjoy church tremendousely, but do realize that I am somehow out of place alot of the time. It seems to me, that alot of church go'ers can't seem to understand how one can trust in the Lord and still be disabled in the upstairs department. For most, if they can't visibly see a disability, then it doesn't really exist. I continue to pray for guidance on a daily basis and continue to look for spots where I might be able to somehow help.

Trooper

03-15-2004, 01:05 PM

:cross_glo

Jeff

Welcome!

I've had the same problems for a lot more years than you have. Just as a lot of our brothers do.

The funny thing is, as a Pastor and as a Mental Health Nurse I can see the Problems your accusers are having.

But, if they recognised the possability of a problem in you, then they'd have to recognize it in themselves. Something about a Log in their own Eye.

Forgive thm, and Pray earnestly for them, For they know not what they do!

Shawn Powell

03-15-2004, 02:50 PM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by BORNAGAINVET

I too, am a Desert Storm vet. I am currently 50% for PTSD and have recently gone back to the C&P board to try to raise it.
Unlike Shawn, I didn't know the Lord prior to combat. When I returned I had a terrible time. Long story short after serving 11 years on active duty, in 1996 I attempted suicide and left the Army. I didn't find the Lord untill 1999, at the age of 33.

QUOTE]

Jeff,

Who were you with?

Check out one the other posts re: OIF vets... Marc from Ft Sill got back in NOV. His wife has posted so far... Marc is taking his time. He needs to, I think.

Welcome home & God Bless.

Shawn :cross_glo

Shawn Powell

03-17-2004, 11:28 AM

Dana, Trooper, Duff....

You guys out there? Kind of struggling today....

Shawn.

Trooper

03-17-2004, 02:32 PM

:cross_glo

Shawn

The Cavalry is here. Don't worry I got your back. Keeping You in My Prayers.

Set your Paryers on "Rock and Roll", Keep your head down and Keep moving, it works better than H&I Fire.

danausmc

03-17-2004, 07:14 PM

Originally posted by Shawn Powell
Dana, Trooper, Duff....

You guys out there? Kind of struggling today....

Shawn.

Shawn,
Just got home about an hour ago.
Hope all is well now, you ever get in a jam, dial our 800 number and Lee will talk to you.
800-877-VETS

24/7
He does it by himself, and keeps the cell phone handy.

you can call here too if you need to.

Jack is right, keep your head down and prayers up...you can post away here too and what is on your mind or heart wont seem so insurmountable if you write it down.
You will have to look it in the eye when you do, and you will see that it cant hurt you. Because you have to confront those thoughts to get them out. You let go of them in a post and you will find if you let go, those thoughts wont have such a tight grip on you.

I will pray, and am praying, now that those shackles of the past will finally be broken and you will be free. Thoughts will always sneak up on ya and you have to be vigilant. I wont be back on until 0500 tomorrow morning and then its off to work.

You can e-mail me or post here and I will check in , in the morning.

Dana

Shawn Powell

03-17-2004, 09:55 PM

Dana, Jack...

I'm on the road alot... jail work, book-ins, book-outs, processing illegals for deport. Once I'm moving bodies west, there's time to spend with God or listen to the radio... when I'm down though, it can be a struggle.

Just one of those days when you start thinking no one gives a damn about you. Family as well, maybe you're taken a little for granted. Teenagers doing stoooooopid things, I'm yelling at all of them to count their frigging blessings, their parents are still married and involved in their lives... hell, I sure don't know what that's like! I don't know, there's been some sacrifices made over the last 20 years to hold this family together... how bout a "Thanks Dad." every once in a while.

So here's my pattern again. Get pissed off, yell... regret it and then get depressed, the floodgates open... tried to call the VA for the first time since 96, just gotta do something about this anger, and couldn't get through... awesome. Think about the desert during the first go around and get butterflies. Moses Lake, WA in the summer is hell for me... it's hot and the wind kicks up the sand and I'm looking for Bedouins, baby. I'm a little anxious about Moses Lake in the summer, men. In southern Iraq this time around there's still tons of wreckage left over from 90-91. Saw lots of it north of Az Zubayr, in a sick way you feel you're in your element.

Then I start thinking I should go back over... Washington just mobilized and will be over there soon, they'll need NCO's. I feel like I didn't do enough this time around what with my buddies still over there. It's about belonging, Dana... you guys know what I mean.

The media gets to me, those socialists in
Spain are heroes now for some twisted reason, all they've done is spread their legs for the enemy. You beat terrorism by killing the terrorists, not kissing their ass. There's some AWOL sack of **** from the Florida Army Guard who turned himself in and subsequently calls himself a contientious objector so he doesn't have to go back. Says he won't fight a war for oil. What the f***??!! I remember 11 SEP 01 as the major reason we're sending those little SOB's to see allah or did I miss something?

There's a bunch of pinko bleeding hearts staging a rally in Spokane on Saturday to protest the war in Iraq and Afghanistan... still got buddies over there dodging exploding ragheads and other guerrilla-type attacks. These cowards (from Gonzaga University) want the public to hear their silly opinions... and the media will embrace it wholeheartedly. I may just pay them a visit on Saturday for some 'fellowship.'

Today was one of those days when you hope a smart-ass cholo has something to say to you as you're cuffing him. Am I making any sense, bros? I'm fatigued at this point, just got off shift. It's about 2240 my time... Dana, Jack thanks for the prayers. My heart lept when I saw your posts, thank you dear brothers!

I'll have more to share, I'm sure.

Shawn.

danausmc

03-18-2004, 02:39 AM

Thanks for posting. I know the same feelings, just puts me in a different place, instead of the sand box.

Im a little late for work this am, but wanted to say we are spritually side by side with you.

See you tonight.

Trooper

03-18-2004, 07:06 AM

:cross_glo

Shawn

You'll continue in my prayers untill you request me to stop, and I don't expect that will happen any time soon.

You can go to the members area and get my E-mail address. I try to check my mail two or three times a day.

danausmc

03-18-2004, 06:08 PM

Shawn,
some times I get the feeling that we are all just spinning our wheels. Sometimes a thank-you goes a long way. And it costs nothing.

Depression?

Maybe we should move that to the PTSD issue thread and talk about it?

We did beat up anger a little and still have a lot to talk about.....but seems to be ok for now......

Maybe some of the lurkers we have here might want to jump in too.

Shawn, everyone I know thinks they did not do enough and when they left, there were still guys in the field and felt that they abandoned them for safety. Hard concept.
Not your call to be sent, or sent home.

I once thought about attending a demonstration at University of Buffalo in 1969, for a little "fellowship", but the Guard and local police and State Troopers had already moved in before I could get there, so there was no chance of getting involved. My neighbor was a city Police officer at the time and taking courses at the college and when the professor found out he was a cop, he gave him a failing grade and the college let it stand. Left wing anti war, anti U.S. jerks. Those were strange times.

Seems like same stuff, different days and years.......some stuff never changes.

Dana

Shawn Powell

03-31-2004, 12:33 PM

danausmc

03-31-2004, 06:21 PM

Dana,

Just heard on the news that four grunts got nailed by roadside bomb today. They didn't say if they were KIA, just that they were medevac'd by 0745 HRS raghead time. Also five civilians, Americans employed by either Brown & Root or Haliburton were ambushed. All dead, all drug through the streets and hung on a bridge in Fallujah. One of our missions was to supply 2-3 man 'shooter' teams to provide local security for the civilian contractors for just that reason.

I again am looking at the life of King David. As a boy he confronted Goliath's stupid ass, glared at him... "I come against you in the name of the God of the Armies of Israel!!" And then runs at him, spinning his slingshot. He kills the enemy of his nation then hacks off Goliath's ugly head and shows it to the Philistine army..."GET SOME...!!"

Got my dander up a little bit... Dana, it's HARD to spectate!

Shawn,
Most of the time we never got into big firefights or battles. Our objective was to keep the roadways clear for convoys and regular travel in the Arizona area. Spectate was part of our day to day routine. The ocaisonal firefight or ambush was good for us because we never really had any opportunity for "payback", as all our casualties were caused by mines, booby traps and "roadside" bombs. ALL our casualties. But that sounds like today. Five Marines killed in Fallujah by a roadside bomb. Three Marines wounded and one KIA on AnHoa Road....by roadside bomb.....three soldiers killed by mine in Bosnia...One Marine killed by mine on An Hoa Road....soldiers killed by exploding woman at checkpoint in Iraq...Marines killed by child with explosives strapped to his back in DaNang.....

It does not get easier....and the headlines and sound bites are just like thirty five years ago.....hard to distinguish then and now when I hear it on the Radio......dander up?? How about anger up??

Good to see you here Shawn. Appreciate your posts.

Reconvic

04-01-2004, 10:47 AM

danausmc

04-01-2004, 05:06 PM

Dana we chewed the same mud bro. I was all around Arizona terr. and AN-Hoa was headquathers for me too bro. Remember Go Noi Island near liberty bridge there was consent fighting there always. These snip attack's work on the head of those over there, and bring back the Nam to me. I see with regret another Nam happening.
Vic

Hey Vic,
I feel the same way. The terminology gets me thinking of 35 yars ago, and then get snapped back to the current reality. But it is real hard to distinguish from the distance. Shawn says its real hard to "spectate" and he just came home from there. I remember the complete and utter feeling of relief that I was home and at the very same time "knowing" that there was unfinished business in RVN and guilt because I was here and they ain't. Still get that today. Look at pictures and see dead guys. Kids that I loved like my own brothers and look and see a kid that is me. Brain is frozen in time at that instant and then I hear the news, now about Marines and I am there? Or there? Or here?
What about now??
And you know what?? When I got "home", I was never "HOME". It was a different place. Everything was the same but completely different. It all was in slow motion. I remember when I first saw my Mom. Man, I missed her, then I got the car and went and got my brothers out of school.
What a time.....same but always never the same anymore and you cant go back.

WHO KNEW???????

usmc26th

04-01-2004, 06:27 PM

Hey Vic,
I feel the same way. The terminology gets me thinking of 35 yars ago, and then get snapped back to the current reality. But it is real hard to distinguish from the distance. Shawn says its real hard to "spectate" and he just came home from there. I remember the complete and utter feeling of relief that I was home and at the very same time "knowing" that there was unfinished business in RVN and guilt because I was here and they ain't. Still get that today. Look at pictures and see dead guys. Kids that I loved like my own brothers and look and see a kid that is me. Brain is frozen in time at that instant and then I hear the news, now about Marines and I am there? Or there? Or here?
What about now??
And you know what?? When I got "home", I was never "HOME". It was a different place. Everything was the same but completely different. It all was in slow motion. I remember when I first saw my Mom. Man, I missed her, then I got the car and went and got my brothers out of school.
What a time.....same but always never the same anymore and you cant go back.

WHO KNEW???????

I agree, I get it double, I always wonder if it's my son.
I also pulled 2 or 3 opts on Go Noi Island, with 1/26. The 3 times I came home it was not home, I just couldn't adjust, that took yrs. I still wonder at times if I have? I hate ehen something like this is able to set me off alittle.

Shawn Powell

04-02-2004, 06:55 AM

Hey Marines, Hey Troop...
I'll probably keep writing more and more re: what's going on in the sandbox. Thanks for your ears and patience...! Dana, it was awesome talking to you last night. That made my day!

Go with Jesus, bros.
Shawn

Trooper

04-02-2004, 07:03 AM

Shawn

We're here for you, that's what brothers are for.

Reconvic

04-03-2004, 12:24 PM

I agree, I get it double, I always wonder if it's my son.
I also pulled 2 or 3 opts on Go Noi Island, with 1/26. The 3 times I came home it was not home, I just couldn't adjust, that took yrs. I still wonder at times if I have? I hate ehen something like this is able to set me off alittle.

It is something we Vets fight off everyday. I also see a VA Doc (Shrink) because I awake still at some things I have in the Nam. I was with Recon Battlion. I also have a real short fuse with the help from God I will be able to control one day. Semper Fi brother.
Vic

chapmick

04-04-2004, 01:26 PM

snowyowl

04-05-2004, 02:01 AM

Shawn Powell

04-05-2004, 06:40 AM

Small world out there. I was also all over Arizona Territory, Dodge City. Hills 10 and 37. 7th Marines/ Brief stint with a CAP Unit before transfer to MAG 16.
The crazy thing that is bringing back memories this month is the reinstatment of the use of the CAP Units in Baghdad. And low and behold they are attached to 1/7 Marines again!!
I am in a PTSD Group at the VET Center here. We have been together for a year and a half now. Do you all still want me to share some of our "homework" assingments on this site? Or is that maybe a little to impersonal? Please advise. Mike

Hope everyone's weekend went well. Mic, I'm kind of interested as I wrote before. Dana, what do you think? I've been devouring Chuck's book... it really hits close to home... he talks about courses of action to take regarding the different symptoms of PTSD. Is it along those lines, Mic?

Shawn.

Trooper

04-05-2004, 10:35 AM

Hope everyone's weekend went well. Mic, I'm kind of interested as I wrote before. Dana, what do you think? I've been devouring Chuck's book... it really hits close to home... he talks about courses of action to take regarding the different symptoms of PTSD. Is it along those lines, Mic?

Shawn.

Shawn

Glad to hear that Chuck's books are a help to you, they were to me. I work for the County Mental Health and recently had a flashback in front of a doctor. After being off meds (With VA Approval) for 20 years, I'm now on 100MG of Zantac daily, for a "low Grade depression" as a condition of employment. The county doesn't know the power of my GOD.

chapmick

04-05-2004, 12:41 PM

To All,
Yes the homework that I am referencing is along the lines of Chuck's book, which was also my salvation. Particularly the idea of replacing the idols and demons of War with the unconditional love of Christ. It prevents me from feeling abandoned, and being so aggressive in responses. The information that we work with each week in the group are simply a set of tools to use to slow us down from going to 'lizard brain' And we all seem to be better for the work. The Group is comprised of; 3 Airborne;4 Marines;1 CIA, 1 Combat Photographer. 1 Desert Storm and 1 Korean Vet(POW). We are all Christian, and we are all there for each other- just like here. Unless I hear to the contrary I will post some of the 'homework" and you can all respond accordingly. If you do not like it- "It don't mean nothin'" I won't go to lizard brain! I will go to prayer.

danausmc

04-05-2004, 05:03 PM

Well, lets try it and see. I remember Lou said he would join in too. Maybe we can get some of the new folks in too. Im for it. Start a new thread in the PTSD FORUM so we can keep it in one place.
Dana

Shawn Powell

04-07-2004, 08:05 AM

Well after two years of trying to get on with Customs as an Inspector and trying for WA State DOC and having been DQ'ed because of PTSD and Depression, it sucks, I'm trying for Disability now. In the past year I've tried three different States and I'm back in WA now. My wife is on Disability. Got laid off from Qwest after 23 years in Dec 2001 and still really haven't found work.
Nothing stupid, just numb, as to why. It's not from the lack of trying. I dunno maybe employers see something I don't see in myself perhaps burnout???

Were you looking at a Customs Inspector in Washington or anywhere in the US? Seems I remember there being a hiring freeze for the new "Bureau of Customs and Border Protection."
I would've responded sooner to your post, bro... guess I need to slow down a bit and digest what I am reading more. You read Chuck's book? It's opened my eyes... each chapter's got a section on steps to recovery for some of the characteristics of PTSD. Depression being one of them....
Can I do anything? I can pray of course... give you some encouragement, you and the wife. I know that when I fall into my valleys it gets tough... I don't wanna seek God because I think my 'prayers' are going no further than the ceiling of my house.
I went for a long walk last night... well, two miles to the local Starbucks and two miles back. I was really uptight, man... all the fighting in Iraq... KIAs... yours truly is spectating, you know the feeling? You know what triggered this 'attack', bro? OPRAH FRIGGIN WINFREY. Caught a glimpse of her show... she was visiting some severely wounded but recovering warriors from the fighting in the sandbox. Man, I'm talking kids that were severely burned... some missing one or both legs, missing arms. I looked at those boys, each one wanted to go back and join the fight... fat ass Oprah just couldn't comprehend that, it was beyond her. I wanted to hold those boys... just thank them and ask where they were from... ask the Lord to heal them and show Himself strong on their behalf... words to that effect, anyway.
So now I feel like I'm suffocating and I go on my walk... I get a coffee at Starbucks (That's like getting a vanilla cone at Baskin-Robbins) and I sit and read a bit from Chuck's book. I started to relax a bit as I'm reading about triggers... AGAIN. Then on the way home... the one thing I kept praying... the one thing that the Holy Spirit put on my heart was "Please Lord. Protect me from those that want to do me harm." And "Jesus, thank you for interceding for me like it says you are doing in Hebrews." That's what I was praying as I walked home. I guess what became of it was that I started to cool a bit... and had one of the rare experiences that I knew God was in control... He loved me and knew what I was going through. I wish everyday could be like that.
Stand firm, bro. I'm here to be a sounding board, at least. I'm praying for you too... I know God has a plan and a purpose for the both of us, it's just gonna be a day at a time obviously.

God Bless.
Shawn. :rambo: :angel_fly